


Her Golden Girls

by kinglorenzochoi



Category: f(x)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Mostly lunber but also f(4) friendship, Sulli cameo, f(4)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-03 22:58:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14006697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinglorenzochoi/pseuds/kinglorenzochoi
Summary: "On January 9, at 10:30 in the morning, I stood in front of that Korean literature class scared shitless. I thought I must've really fucked things up to have to move all the way to a different continent to finish high school. But at 10:31, I looked up and you were the only girl who smiled at me with all the sincerity in the world, and at that moment I knew - I knew I wanted to see that smile every single day for the rest of my life."//Or, the story of how two girls find that love is a lot easier to find when you live right next door at an all-girls boarding school.





	Her Golden Girls

**Author's Note:**

> ive been writing this fic for a long ass time sorry its kinda crappy lmaoooo!! unless it's stated, bold text means something is being said in English :)

When Luna first met Amber, she was intrigued. Going to an all-girls boarding school in a small town in four hours away from Seoul meant that most of the students were generally the same - similar hairstyles, similar clothes, and unfortunately, similar personalities.

  
But there stood this tall, lanky girl with short black hair and a dozen piercings around her ears, wearing khaki shorts in place of a khaki skirt. The new student's style was undoubtedly boyish and unusual - had it not been an all-girls school, Luna would have believed she was a boy. The girl stood at the front of the classroom, backpack slung on both shoulders, arms carrying several thick textbooks. She flashed a friendly smile at the class as their teacher introduced her to the class. The girl seemed at ease and confident, there was no hint of fear in her eyes, despite the fact that the school year had already been going on for six months and she clearly looked different from most of the students that attended their school.

  
The other girls in the classroom quietly giggled at the sight of the new student's unusual appearance, but Luna decided that she quite liked it. The girl's short hair was parted to the side neatly and the smile that tugged on her lips never seemed to falter. She didn't seem to care that she looked different or that the other girls seemed to take notice of it.

  
"Hi, my name is Amber!" She said in her heavily accented Korean. This just made the other students giggle even more. Amber took a small piece of paper from her pocket and began reading aloud. "I'm sorry, I'm from Los Angeles so I don't speak Korean very well yet, but I hope to learn to be better as I spend more time with all of you!"

  
This time Luna giggled. Not because she found Amber to be silly, but because she found her to be absolutely adorable. Their eyes met for a brief moment and Luna smiled, hoping to provide the new girl with some form of warmth and welcoming. It seemed to work, as she smiled right back.

  
Amber folded the piece of paper and slipped it in her pocket once more before bowing in front of the class. Luna could tell she was trying hard to understand their culture and speak their language, and in her eyes, that made her seem even more adorable.

  
She sat in an empty seat several rows away from Luna, but that didn't stop her from peeking at the new student from time to time. Luna saw she had a thick English-Korean dictionary open at her desk, flipping over the pages every few seconds to understand the lesson being taught by the teacher. It was bad luck on Amber's part that the first class she had to attend at a new school in a foreign country was a Korean literature class. Even so, Luna found it difficult to contain her smile for the rest of the period.

  
Once class ended, Luna tidied up her belongings and prepared to head out to her dorm room, ready to take a nap until the next morning. Her plans were unfortunately delayed when her teacher asked her to stay back for several minutes, along with the new student.

  
"Is there something wrong?" Luna was getting a little worried. No teacher had ever asked her to stay back after class and she was beginning to think that maybe she was finally getting in trouble for always feeding the stray cats that keep coming back on school grounds.

  
"Amber! Come over here for a second." The teacher motioned for Amber to come and the girl quickly ran towards their direction. Luna studied her carefully as she hurried on and found a smile creeping up her face when Amber flashed a toothy grin at her direction once she arrived.

  
"This is Luna," The teacher motioned to her direction as the two girls shook hands. "I've been informed by the office that your room will be right next to Luna's, so I thought it would be great to introduce you two to each other and have her show you around for a little bit. How does that sound?"  
Luna's smile extended even further. She was always looking to make new friends.

  
"That sounds great!" She exclaimed, turning to face Amber, who seemed equally as excited as her. "Come on, I'll show you where we live!"

  
They both thanked their teacher and began heading to the dorm building. If Amber was to be placed in the room next Luna's, then that meant that she would be occupying Jinri's old room. Jinri, whom Luna and her friends affectionately nicknamed "Sulli", had been Luna's dorm neighbor for years until she transferred schools a month earlier - right after the end of the first semester of their second year of high school. Sulli had been one of Luna's closest friends, and seeing her leave drilled a painful hole in her chest, but Luna was also intrigued by Amber and believed that maybe she would make a good replacement for Sulli.

"So," Amber began, breaking the silence. "Your name is Luna?"

She nodded.

"Wow! I've never met a Korean with such an English name." Luna tried her best to hold back her chuckle at the girl's excitement.

"My real name is Park Sunyoung, but we have a bunch of foreign students here, so everyone just goes by their English names here - but only if they want to, of course."  
Amber nodded continuously as she listened. "So there are lot of foreign students here?"

"Quite a lot, actually - enough for the school to create a separate study program for foreign students to have their classes in English." Amber's face lit up.

"Really? Wait, then why was that class completely in Korean if I'm a foreign student?"

"Unfortunately, everyone still has to take a Korean literature class," Her previously cheerful face forms into a puppy dog pout. "So, it looks like you still have to learn Korean, sorry about that."

As if on cue, Amber's smile formed once more. "That's fine! How am I supposed to talk to you guys if I can't understand Korean?"

"You speak the language so well already, though! We had this entire conversation in Korean, and I'm amazed you can keep up - maybe you have a knack for languages."

" **Oh my gosh, no**. I got here about two months ago, so while I was waiting for school to start, I was taking language classes for three hours each day."  
Luna was impressed. Amber was competent enough to communicate with her back and forth in a language she had just picked up two months prior.

"Wow. I'm surprised you even needed to use your cheat sheet to introduce yourself just now. You seem to have no problems talking to me right now!"

"I wanted to make sure I would say everything correctly." Luna just about felt her heart melt in her chest.

"That's absolutely adorable!" She felt the urge to pinch the girl's cheeks but decided against it, having only just known her for less than ten minutes.

"Don't expect too much from me, though. This," She pointed to the thick dictionary in her left hand. "Is going to be my best friend while I'm here."  
God, she's adorable.

Luna felt her stomach tumble on the inside from the new girl's admirable determination, but she only allowed herself to let out a small laugh and continued to lead Amber to their dorm building. Once they arrived, she punched in several numbers into the system and scanned her identification card before the door is opened. They paid quite a large sum to attend this school each year, so extra security is a definite must for their living quarters. She led Amber down the hall, passing by several rooms with open doors filled with teenage girls playing loud music and giggling in high-pitched sounds. Luna could see several of the girls looking at Amber strangely, as if to dissect every piece of her appearance and make sure that a boy had not trespassed into their personal safe space, but Amber just looked at them in the eye and flashed that wide, cheerful smile at them. She was probably used to it, Luna thought to herself, noticing how she never seemed to be bothered by the stares that the other students had been giving her so far.

The two girls walked until they reached the far end of the hall, passing by a tiny sign with the words "UNIT F" engraved in gold. Behind the sign, were four rooms placed facing each other in twos. Each door had tiny whiteboards with names written on them, and Luna led Amber to the room placed right next to the door with the name "Luna/Sunyoung" written in neat cursive. The room right next to Luna's still had the name "Sulli/Jinri" scribbled messily on the whiteboard before Luna swiftly erased the name and replaced it with Amber's in the same neat cursive as hers.

"This is your room!" Luna exclaimed.

Before Amber could approach the door, Luna immediately punched in several numbers, opening the door. She had the code to Sulli's room memorized for years - they used to always come in and out of each other's rooms without notice. Inside the room, the bed was already stripped of its sheets and the walls a clean white. In the corner of the room were two luggages - Amber's belongings, she assumed. Luna was too absorbed in adjusting to the empty state of her friend's old room that she almost forgot Amber was still standing behind her, waiting to enter the room too.

"You know my code?" Luna froze. She didn't really stop to think how creepy it must have been for Amber to see a complete stranger enter her personal code and access her room with no sweat.

"Well, uh, my best friend used to live in this room - I'm really sorry, you can change the code by the office - this is totally creepy isn't it? I'm not going to go into your room at night or anything--"

"Luna!" Amber grabbed her by the shoulders, interrupting her panicked rambling. Her touch was gentle and soft, surprising Luna even more. "Stop freaking out, it's fine!"

"It is?" She asked, shoulders loosening. Amber nodded. "You're not worried I'll come into your room at night and like, I don't know, steal your clothes?"

Amber laughed and took her hands from Luna's shoulders. "Why would you want to steal my clothes anyway? I'm not sure basketball shorts and sweatshirts are your style." She walked past Luna and dragged her luggage from the corner of the room towards the bed, where she eventually sat down.

"And," Amber began once more. "Even if you decide to come into my room unannounced at night, I'm perfectly fine with it - you're my first friend here, you'll always be welcome in my room!"

Luna found herself feeling slight taken aback - so far Amber had been completely trusting of her, showing no signs of caution or fear. She seemed to be taking in the whole experience wholeheartedly, full speed ahead. She was so confident and secure for someone so clearly different from everybody else around them. Luna believed that could go either two ways - very bad or very well. She was hoping deep down that it would be the latter.

Luna was about to say something in response to Amber when she felt her phone vibrate in her blazer pocket. She quickly fished it out from her side and glanced at the caller, seeing Krystal's name as the caller.

"Yah!" Krystal shouted into the call immediately after Luna picked up. She was positive that Krystal was loud enough for Amber to hear from where she was standing.

"What?"

"Why are you taking so long? We're hungry!" Luna laughed. It was typical of Krystal to be angry when she was hungry.

"Forgive me, Princess Soojung, anything for you." Krystal scoffed from the other line.

"Hurry!" The call immediately ended, leaving Luna confused but not surprised.

"Who was that?" Amber asked.

"Krystal - her room is right in front of yours."

"She's a real princess?" Her eyes were wide in complete confusion, and that only made Luna want to protect her even more.

"No, but she acts like one," Luna was going to leave her description of Krystal just at that, but an important fact quickly popped in her mind-one that one be extremely helpful for Amber. "She's from America too!"

Amber's face lit up like a thousand lights. "She is? So, she can speak English?"

"She can speak English really well - wait, this is perfect! She's been complaining for months now that there's nobody in our group she can speak English with, and now you're here! Oh my god, we have to go introduce you to her now!" Without a second thought, Luna took Amber by the hand and pulled her towards the exit, where they would make their way towards the cafeteria.

Luna made sure to briefly introduce each part of the school they passed on the way to the cafeteria, but her main focus was to get to their destination as much as possible, so it was likely that Amber did not understand a single thing she had said. Once they reached the cafeteria, Luna found Victoria and Krystal sitting together at a table by the door. They were both already eating but it looked like Victoria was lecturing Krystal as they did - the latter did not look pleased.

"Guys!" Luna called out. Victoria's attention was finally pulled away from the conversation and she waved for them to join the table.

"What took you so long?"

"Oh, you're going to love this Krystal," She began, noticing how Krystal was eyeing Amber's sudden presence strangely. "This is Amber. She just moved here from Los Angeles."

Amber pulled out the slip of paper she had used for her introduction and prepared herself to speak when Krystal immediately interrupted her.

" **I'm from San Francisco!** " Her eyes lit up. It was the first time in a long time Krystal seemed this excited.

" **No way! I love the Bay Area!** "

Victoria and Luna only smiled and nodded, neither of them understood what the two were saying but the conversation seemed fruitful.

"Hi, I'm Victoria!" She began, shaking the American girl's hand. "I'm from China."

"China? That's so cool, my parents are from Taiwan! I know a little bit of Chinese, but I'd love to learn more!" Victoria had the biggest smile on her face after that.

"Oh yeah, I'm Krystal by the way - I moved here from San Francisco when I was a kid."

It wasn't long before the empty space Sulli left behind in their table was filled by Amber. It seemed that both Victoria and Krystal became interested in the girl too. She was a bright force to be reckoned with - even with her minimal skills in the language, she managed to win the hearts of three girls in a country she had never been to before. It seemed that Amber took a liking to them too - Luna would never forget the smile that formed on her face when she realized that the four of them were living in the same unit. There was no way she could have known at the time, but meeting Amber for the first time would become one of the most pivotal moments of Luna's youth.

+++

Even a month after Amber's arrival at her school, Luna still viewed her as an invincible figure capable of doing just about anything. She had made friends with just about everyone in their year and was on impossibly good terms with everyone. Luna would sometimes scold herself for being so stupid to assume that Amber would be bullied severely for who she was and suffer the same fate as Sulli. So far, however, everybody seemed to love her and want to be her friend - she supposed that perhaps everyone else was also charmed by her outgoing personality and her confidence in speaking the language despite obvious stumbles and mistakes. Luna would even go as far as to say that she was well on her way to becoming the most popular student at their school, despite having only been there for a month. Amber never seemed to let anyone or anything bother her - in Luna's eyes she was bulletproof.

Turns out, she wasn't. She was only good at bandaging her wounds and never letting it see the light of day ever again.

It had happened right after the Korean literature class they had together. Amber had been holding in her pee for the past hour but was too afraid of missing anything else in class to actually make the trip to the bathroom. Luna laughed at her the whole time in class as she fidgeted and shook in her seat. For the past month, she had been helping Amber catch up in their Korean literature class and had become relatively good friends. Amber had many friends at school, but Luna was confident enough to go out on a limb and claim that she was the friend Amber was closest to. They had spent many nights studying together and they had even gone on grocery shopping trips together several times. They were good friends.

Once the bell signaling the end of class rang, Amber quickly stood up, gathered her belongings and pulled Luna out the classroom with her, rushing to get to the dorm bathroom that the four of them had shared.

"Yah! Why are you taking me with you?" Luna asked as they both ran together. Amber had grabbed Luna's wrist at the end of class and hadn't let go.

"Because I need to _peeeeeee_!" Amber's answer hadn't really provided much of an answer, but Luna went along with it anyway. "Come on, _gangaji_ , faster!"

That was another thing that made Luna believe they had become close - nicknames. For some reason she had yet to understand, Amber began to refer to her as "puppy". Sometimes (like this particular moment), she would use the Korean word, and sometimes she would use the English word. It had happened out of nowhere but Luna wasn't complaining. It was actually quite endearing.

"Wait!" Luna shouted, pulling Amber's hand back. "Why are we going to the dorm bathroom? It's a long walk and the public bathroom is right here!"

Amber seemed hesitant. She looked at the door of the bathroom in front of their classroom and stared for the longest time. Luna didn't understand what was going on but Amber seemed to be in deep thought before eventually muttering something along the lines of "fuck it" and running towards the bathroom, Luna's wrist still in her hand.

The bathroom was completely empty when they had arrived, and Amber squealed and scrambled into one of the stalls. Luna leaned on the wall and waited for her to finish when she heard the sound of liquid hitting liquid and a satisfied sigh coming from the stall.

" _Gross_!" Luna shouted in English. Spending time with Amber had also helped improve her proficiency in a language that was once completely foreign to her. Amber spoke in English a lot and the use of it sort of rubbed off on Luna after some time.

" _Nothing wrong with enjoying one of the greatest pleasures in life, Luna_!" Amber replied, also in English.

Luna scoffed. "Stop it, you know I don't understand anything you're saying."

Just as the sound of the flush began to make rounds throughout the bathroom, the bathroom entrance door swung open, revealing two of their classmates entering the space. The two girls that had arrived were not girls Luna was particularly fond of - Jihyeon and Hyera were partly responsible for Sulli's departure from their school. They weren't particularly popular or anything, but they had the unique ability to tell cruel jokes and make them into something bigger - experts at slander, as Victoria had once said. What was surprising, however, was that they seemed to be on somewhat good terms with Amber - much better than anyone would have expected. They weren't best friends, but Amber had made them laugh several times and Hyera even waved at her once in the canteen. It didn't seem like much but when it came to Jihyeon and Hyera, it meant a lot.

"Hey Loony." Jihyeon greeted, calling Luna by the nickname she had insisted was out of affection. Luna forced a smile and greeted the two girls politely, trying her best not to get involved in anything with them.

Several moments later, the stall door opened and Amber emerged, looking happy and completely satisfied. Her short hair was pushed to the side as usual and her blazer was unbuttoned - she looked as happy as she could ever be. Her school blouse was tucked inside her knee-length trousers - Luna had no clue what strings were pulled, but somehow the school had given Amber permission to wear trousers instead of a skirt for their uniform, as long as they were made from the same material as the official skirts. This entire look had made her look incredibly boyish, but she pulled it off incredibly well.

"Oh my god!" Hyera shouted, gasping at the sight of Amber. "Didn't you know that this is the girls bathroom, Amber?"

Beside her, Jihyeon giggled.

"Did you take a wrong turn or something?" Jihyeon added.

Hours later, Luna would regret not stepping in to defend Amber, but at the time, the thought never crossed her mind. If it were Sulli, Luna would have interfered in a heartbeat, but in that situation, it was Amber. In Luna's eyes, Amber was bulletproof - she was convinced nothing could hurt her. Luna believed that Jihyeon and Hyera's jokes were harmless to Amber. Nothing else had ever bothered her before, so why should this? Luna should have seen the red flag appear when Amber stayed silent for much longer than usual.

But eventually, her cheeky wide smile returned, and outgoing, popular Amber was back.

"I guess you could say I took a wrong turn on the way to LA and ended up in Korea!" She joked, making the two girls and Luna laugh with her.

"You should come shopping with us some time, we'll get you some real clothes." Hyera offered. A look of confusion was spread on Amber's face.

"Real clothes?" She repeated, voice slightly cracking at the end. Somewhere in the back of Luna's mind, she knew something was wrong, but she was too wrapped up in her own vision of Amber's strength to pay attention.

"Yeah, nothing like those weird baggy basketball shorts you always wear!" Hyera explained. "Give me a call and we'll work out when!"

"Great!" Amber replied, her mouth seemingly fixed on an unchanging smile as the two girls left the bathroom.

"They're so fake." Luna mumbled once they had left. She glanced over at Amber, who seemed to be staring at herself in the mirror. There was something unusual about the expression on her face, she just couldn't pin what exactly was on her mind. "Hello?"  
Amber snapped out of her trance and flashed her award-winning smile at Luna. There was something off about her smile too. "I think I have to get to class in a bit, _gangaji_."

"Aw, really?" Amber nodded and took her things from the sink counter.

"I'll see you later!" And with that, Amber was gone in a flash.

It took a while for Luna to register that the reason why her smile had seemed so off was because it had been slightly smaller than usual. She just didn't know why.

The answer to that question came later in the night. After the bathroom scenario, Amber and Luna had completely separate classes from each other so Luna had not seen her since then. In the time they spent apart she forgot about Amber's slightly smaller smile and convinced herself that maybe Amber was just tired.

At around two in the morning, however, Luna heard the faint sounds of clatter and impact coming from the room beside her-Amber's room. She tried to ignore it at first, telling herself that Amber was probably just redecorating her room or searching for something, but she was eventually brought to her senses when the sound of something heavy hitting the floor reached her ears. Luna was getting increasingly worried and got up from her bed. She walked out of her room and softly knocked on Amber's door, careful not to wake other students at the dorm. She had knocked several times, but nobody answered. She pressed her ear to the door but was only met with silence.

Luna took a deep breath and decided that this was an emergency situation. She punched in the code to Amber's room on the keypad and slowly opened the door after in unlocked. The room was dark, lit only by the moonlight coming from the window. Luna could see that the room was a complete mess - clothes and books were strewn on the floor and the drawer that initially stood by the bed had collapsed on the floor. It was as if someone had broken in and trashed the place. But that hadn't been the case, as in the corner of the room, Luna could see a figure in pajamas lying face-down on the bed. She could tell it was Amber in a second.

Luna closed the door behind her and quietly approached the girl. This had taken her completely by surprise. Amber was supposed to be cool, calm and collected. Had something happened to her?

"Amber?" Luna called softly. She was now kneeling next to the bed, slowly reaching out for her. "What happened? Are you okay?"

No movement occurred.

"Amber?" Luna's finger touched the soft skin of her arm. There was a bit of static that went through them, shocking Luna. Luckily, this jolt of electricity seemed to encourage movement in Amber, whose hand slowly reached out to interlock with Luna's. "Are you okay?"

Amber didn't answer. There was only silence for the longest time as Luna sat on the floor holding Amber's hand. Eventually, she received a reply.

"Can you…can you sleep with me tonight?" Amber choked out, slowly looking up to meet Luna. It was in this moment that Luna's perfect image of her friend was shattered.

Amber's eyes were impossibly swollen, her skin red and hair a tousled mess. It was clear to Luna that she had done the damage to her room herself - out of anger. It dawned on her almost immediately that, yes, Amber was a human just like her, and things had the ability to bother her and hurt her to the point where she could cry her eyes out.

Luna looked straight into her eyes. There was something in her eyes that seemed to plead, please don't bring this up just yet. So Luna just nodded and climbed into Amber's bed. The two seemed to fit well on the bed, facing each other as they held hands. Amber's eyes were swollen, but they eventually closed. Luna wasn't sure if she was asleep so she just kept her eyes open and waited. She placed her arm around the taller girl and rubbed her back, remembering her days as a child when her mother would do that to get her to sleep.

After some time, Luna could feel her eyes getting heavy, and she was very slowly drifting off into another world. Just as she was at the edge of letting go, however, Amber finally spoke again.

" _Gangaji_ ," She whispered. Luna kept her eyes closed and only hummed in response. "Do you think the stuff I usually wear are real clothes?"

Luna's heart fell in her chest. This was all because of Jihyeon and Hyera's stupid comments. She opened her eyes and looked at Amber. She seemed genuinely sad and confused referring back to the moment. The girl she placed on a pedestal as a shining figure was had shrunk into something so small, Luna could probably fit her in her pocket.

"Of course they are - they're who you are." She could see Amber force a small smile across her lips. Somehow its inclusion only made her look even sadder.

"It's just…" Amber trailed off. For the first time since the two had met, the ever-so confident girl looked lost. "That shit still hurts, you know?"

Beside her, Luna didn't say a word. She knew that Amber looked far from finished.

"I know I dress like a boy and I can look like a boy, but I'm still just a girl. And when people say things like that, it just…it doesn't feel great." This time, Luna reached out to hold her hand. "That's why I didn't want to go to that bathroom. I haven't used a public bathroom in years. I'm just so used to people looking at me that way whenever I go into one. But, you know, just because someone is used to something, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt anymore. Whenever something like that happens to me, I always find myself thinking - maybe I should just try to be more like everyone else. Maybe I should just throw all my basketball shorts and my hoodies into a box and never open it again."

Luna suddenly felt a hot flame of anger within her emerge and finally intervened. "Stop it! Don't even say that again." She had said it so loudly it sounded like a shout within their quiet atmosphere. Amber looked shocked - this was the closest she had ever seen to Luna blowing up in anger.

"The way you are now, how you talk, how you dress, how you act, that's all a unique part of you that makes you so different and so goddamn likable!" The shock didn't wear off even once in Amber's expression. Luna continued. "I can't imagine how much it must hurt for you whenever something like that happens, but the solution to that is not to give in - don't be the person they want you to be just because it's harder to be you. It's always more worth it to be you."

The room was dark but Luna didn't have to look at Amber to see that her swollen eyes were close to tears again. The girl was already shaking under her touch - she was trying her hardest to swallow her tears, but Luna stroked her hair softly, as if to tell her to cry anyway.

They didn't talk again for the rest of the night, but instead, they fell asleep on the same bed next to each other, with their legs tangled together and fingers interlocking. It was a sweet moment in the blooming friendship - an innocent, gleaming moment that highlighted the type of love that they could only have for each other. What had happened that night was far from anything romantic. It was just perhaps the beginning.

It was the beginning of many more nights with Amber knocking on Luna's door at two in the morning and curling up on the bed with her when she was feeling particularly sad. It was the beginning of Luna acting as a fierce puppy dog to whomever she decided could potentially hurt her friend. But most importantly, it was the beginning of their friendship as equals, when Luna stopped viewing Amber as an impossible figure and as a real human. It was the start of something only the two would share.

+++

" _Gangaji_ , _pleeeeaaaseeee_?" Amber whined in English, crawling towards the shorter girl on her knees with her hands clasped together.

Luna shook her head. "I don't want to!" She replied, also in English.

"Krystal! Help me out!" Amber shouted, pointing at Krystal through their open doors. Krystal was too busy reading her textbook to even look up.

"Your idea, your problem!" Krystal pushed the door closed with her foot, leading Amber to stick her tongue out at the closed room.

"Give me one good reason why you don't want to come." Luna scoffed.

"Our final exams start on Monday!" The short-haired girl rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, that's two days away! You have plenty of time to freak out and study!" Amber sounded desperate. She didn't seem like she was going to budge any time soon.

"Just for tonight, sneak out with me and Krystal."

"I'm not risking my grades to go to town and watch a boy group concert with you!" Luna rolled her papers and hit Amber's head, somehow feeling that it would prove her point.

" _Gangajiiiiiiiii_!"

"Why don't you ask Victoria to come?"

"Getting an organ transplant would be easier than getting Mama Vic to sneak out right before finals week." Amber explained, crossing her arms as if her statement had been the most obvious thing ever. She wasn't wrong though.

"Well, if you get Victoria to come, then I'll come," Luna felt satisfied. There was no way Victoria would agree to sneak out with them, and therefore, no way Luna would come either. It was a good plan. "I promise."

Amber huffed, shot her a defiant look and stood up, walking towards Victoria's room. She knocked on the door eagerly - banging the door, almost, until Victoria emerged, hair a tangled mess, eye bags prominent and pen marks covering her entire hand. She looked terrible. There was no way she would agree.

"What do you want?" Victoria spat out, looking as tired as ever. Amber took a small step back and gave the girl her best puppy dog stare.

"Vicky! Do you want to go to a concert right now with me and Krystal? Please?" Her voice had gone up two octaves, at least, and she had her hands clasped together, begging. Victoria scoffed and immediately closed the door on her face. From her own room, Luna laughed. The expected had happened, and Amber wasn't going to succeed in dragging her out to town late at night.

Amber moped back to Luna's room, her face down and disappointed, exactly resembling a sad puppy. Luna ruffled her hair and sent several reassuring words. But before she could go back to the stack of papers she had left to study, Victoria's door swung open, revealing the girl just moments ago was dressed in sweats and covered in fatigue, in a completely different outfit, very fitting for a night out in town. She walked over to where Luna and Amber were sitting and glanced at her watch as the two girls looked at her in awe.

"So are we going or what?" She asked. Beside her, Amber's face quickly turned into a smirk as she faced Luna.

"You promised." That, she did.

 

Out of some miracle, her three friends managed to pull Luna out of her pajamas and pick a decent outfit for her to wear. It was one of the party dresses that she had bought out of impulse but never got around to wearing. She quickly put on some makeup to mask her tiredness and looked just about ready in fifteen minutes. Amber, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen after Luna had started getting ready. Krystal had pulled her to her room and locked the door, preventing anyone from entering. Once Luna was ready, she stared at Krystal's closed door, wondering what the two were doing so secretly. Sometimes, she had to admit, Luna felt a little left out when it was just the three of them. Since Victoria was student body president, she had many duties and responsibilities, and most of the time, their group was a trio. Krystal and Amber were both fluent English speakers and that was one connection Luna knew she would never have with either of them. They would sometimes go on and on in English, and she would just sit there, listening as these foreign words went in one ear and out the other.

After some time, Luna decided that she had been waiting too long and knocked on Krystal's door. In just a few seconds, the door was unlocked and out came Krystal, looking even more beautiful than usual with the addition of makeup.

"Can I help you?" The taller girl asked, face scrunched up in irritation. Luna crossed her arms and stomped her foot.

"Yah! I've been waiting for almost half an hour, where's the one that wanted to go out?" Krystal's expression morphed from a look of irritation to a smirk.

"Oh, she's ready - come out Amber!"

Looking back, Luna would always say that this was the night where everything started - where everything stopped making sense.

From behind Krystal, a figure emerged from the darkness of the room, well dressed in a red leather jacket and super tight black skinny jeans. The figure revealed itself to be Amber, looking like she came straight out of a magazine cover. Her dark hair had been styled neatly to the side and her lips had been painted a pretty shade of pink. There was more makeup on her face, but it had been made to look natural enough that those who didn't see her on a regular basis would think she wasn't wearing any at all. For the first time in her life, Luna was at a complete loss of words. It was as if she had been hit by a bus. There was something different about that night.

"Don't laugh!" Amber shouted, pointing her finger at the frozen girl staring back at her. All Luna could do was shake her head. There was absolutely no way she would be laughing at how Amber looked that night.

Krystal scoffed and chimed in. "You look ready to score some dick tonight!"

 _Or pussy_ , Luna thought to herself, before shaking off the thought immediately for its inappropriateness.

Amber laughed and walked over to Luna's room. The younger of the two couldn't help but stare at the sudden definition of Amber's lower backside in those tight jeans.

"Remind me what the plan is again?" Victoria asked, following Amber towards Luna's room.

"So it's obviously way past curfew, right? So we all sneak out through Luna's window--"

"Wait, why does it have to be my window?"

"Because it's the closest to the exit, now stop interrupting me!" She muffled Luna's mouth with her hand and continued the plan. "As I was saying, we all get out through Luna's window, then we very stealthily run to the maintenance exit, where by great buddy Al--"

"What kind of a Korean name is 'Al'?" Krystal interrupted.

"He's Korean-American! What does that matter?" Amber shouted in frustration. "So anyway, Al has graciously given me his extra keycard so we can go in and out of this place. Once we're out, we'll catch the next bus to the show. Does that sound good to everyone?"

The three girls nodded in unison.

They left not long after the plan was explained, with Victoria climbing out of Luna's window first and Krystal following right after. Luna had always been scared of heights (even if they did live on the ground floor) but Amber had to be last, as the leader of the operation. Once it was time for her to go, Amber stood from her chair and offered her hand to the girl, who had been dreading the climb. Without any hesitation, Luna took Amber's hand.

Something different had happened. A small surge of energy had occurred as the two touched - probably just static electricity - but it felt like something else. It was something different. Something that Luna couldn't pinpoint exactly. She looked hesitantly at Amber's face. There was no change in her facial expression but there was one thing Luna noticed that she had only started thinking about that night.

Amber was pretty. No, she was drop dead gorgeous. She was make-your-heart-drop, take-your-breath away beautiful. Maybe it was the makeup, or the skinny jeans, or maybe Luna had just been blind this whole time - but one thing was certain, Amber was fucking gorgeous and there wasn't anything she could do about it.

+++

"Wait a minute, why did you even agree to come in the first place?" Amber asked Victoria as the four of them sped off from the bar they went to after the concert, sitting in a sports car owned and driven by a student from the all-boys boarding school just ten minutes away from theirs. Fortunately, Krystal was beautiful, and he was too weak to face off against her, so a pretty smile and the batting of her eyelashes were enough to get them a free ride back. "You're Mama Vic! You normally wouldn't condone this type of behavior!"

Next to Amber, Victoria let out a loud laugh. "We're all separating next year aren't we? It was time to make some rebellious memories."

From the driver's seat, the poor teenage boy Krystal managed to lure let out a small gasp. "Are you guys graduating next year too?"

"I'm sorry, what was your name again?" Victoria asked, tapping his shoulder. The boy laughed.

"Lee Taemin." He turned his head back to meet Victoria but Krystal quickly pushed his head back to face the front.

"Eyes on the road, loverboy." Krystal reminded, smirking at him. If anything, the boy seemed to be even more enchanted by her, if that was even possible.

"Yeah, we're going to be seniors in a few months, why?" Luna replied. She had been quiet for most of the ride back, but somehow decided to join the conversation.

"Well I don't know if this is too early to talk about it, but my friends and I are throwing a huge bash once school starts up again - the four of you are definitely welcome." Krystal faced the girls and flashed them her signature smirk, the one that could get the whole nation to fall in love with her.

"How could we refuse?" Many messy, unfortunate things would come to happen at one of his parties, but that was for another time.

 

Taemin had dropped the girls off at the maintenance exit, but not before Krystal subtly slipped a piece of paper with her phone number inside his coat pocket. Once he had sped off, Krystal was faced with three knowing smiles from three very nosy girls.

"So, are you keeping this one?" Luna asked, teasingly elbowing her.

Krystal rolled her eyes. "Whatever. What's the plan here?"

"Get in the same way we got out and make a run for it to Luna's window."

Victoria nodded. "Sounds easy enough," She decides and looks at her watch. "Shit, let's go, don't they start making rounds around the lawn at four?"

Sensing urgency looming in the air, the four girls quickly ran to the maintenance entrance, where Amber fumbled through a keycard in her pocket before quickly gaining access to the entrance. They made their way through the maintenance shed and finally arrived at the lawn, where Luna could see some of the security guards getting ready to do their morning rounds. Victoria, acting as the true leader she was, took a large piece of black cloth from the shed and covered the three girls as she carefully led them to run towards a tree nearing their building. Once she was confident that none of the security guards had seen them, she instructed the three to hold hands as they started running towards Luna's window. But it was as they were nearing the turn to where Luna's window was faced that they heard the sound of one of the guards calling out to them. By that moment, Luna knew she was fucked. Her whole academic career was going down the drain just for one night of stupid fun.

But Victoria was their rock and she didn't give up so easily. She pulled the three girls harder and ran faster towards Luna's window to outrun the guards. But once they reached her window, Victoria found that it was stuck. It wouldn't open.

"Fuck! What are we going to do?" Luna asked, fear running through her voice as she squeezed Amber's hand tightly. The three girls had not let go of each other and they didn't seem to plan to.

"My window! Use my window!" Amber declared, and Victoria quickly ran to Amber's window as Luna ran to hers, still trying to open the window.

Amber's window had also taken a lot of strength to open, but it wasn't nearly as stuck as Luna's. In just a few seconds, Victoria and Krystal had managed to pry the window open and the two quickly climbed in. Luna was still trying to open her window and Amber had almost joined the two girls in her room when she decided to return and help Luna. The two managed to open the window and they both managed to climb in and shut it closed, just as the guards arrived to where they had been standing.

Amber and Luna sunk to the floor in fatigue, with Amber immediately leaning on her shoulder. Had it not been for Luna's strict policy of always cleaning off makeup before sleeping, they would have probably slept on the floor like that for hours. Amber had whined about not being able to get up from the floor and being too tired, but Luna managed to drag her to the bed anyway. Once she was on the bed, however, the girl was fast asleep. Luna tried to stifle a laugh as she took a makeup wipe and started cleaning off Amber's makeup for her.

As she wiped off the sleeping girl's makeup, the weird sensation that emerged earlier that night returned. It didn't leave when Luna took off the girl's jacket for her and replaced her skinny jeans with one of her more comfortable basketball shorts. Nor did it leave when she finally curled up next to the sleeping girl beside her, wondering to herself why, out of the many nights they slept together on that very same bed, she was just now realizing how incredibly beautiful this girl was.

+++

group chatroom: Suite F

puppy: has anyone seen my dior lipstick??  
amber hyung: uh what  
mama vic: dont tell me you lost it  
mama vic: didnt it cost you your entire allowance  
mama vic: i told you to keep it somewhere safe!!  
puppy: i kNOW I KNOW but im in seoul rn and i cant find it anywhere :(  
amber hyung: come to LA and ill let u borrow my cherry chapstick  
puppy: how sweet,,,,,,,,its not dior tho  
princess soojung: oh lol its with me  
puppy: ITS WITH U IN SAN FRANCISCO???  
puppy: WAIT A SECOND ARE U SRS  
puppy: HELLO?????  
puppy: JUNG SOOJUNG YOU ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW  
princess soojung: dont worry about it ill give it to u when i get back  
puppy: DO NOT TOUCH IT DO NOT WEAR IT DONT EVEN LOOK AT IT  
amber hyung: i can go to san francisco and get it for u gangaji!!!  
amber hyung: **KRYS LETS MEET UP**  
princess soojung: **nah**  
amber hyung: **but wHYYYYY we're so close!!!**  
princess soojung: **myb only in distance lmao**  
amber hyung: **how could u be so MEAN its because of ME u met that guy ure always texting**  
princess soojung: **shut ur trap**  
puppy: **HEY STOP ENGLISH!!** you guys know i dont understand :(  
puppy: what were u guys talking about?  
puppy: naver translate said something about a trap…….are u guys hunting for something??

group chat name changed: Suite F(uck)

mama vic: who the fuck changed our group name  
amber hyung: i did it to rebel against krystal for not wanting to see me  
puppy: ahhhh is that what u guys were saying??  
mama vic: even so why did u have to make it into a swear word  
puppy: vicky u literally JUST said "fuck"……..

group chat name changed: Suite F(x)

amber hyung: there i changed it  
amber hyung: doesnt it sound cooler??? x makes everything sound cooler  
puppy: i support!!  
puppy: so hows everyones holiday been?  
amber hyung: yea hows china vic  
mama vic: its great  
mama vic: i rly missed speaking chinese to people who actually understand it  
mama vic: unlike SOMEONE I KNOW  
amber hyung: IM AS FLUENT AS I CAN BE OK  
amber hyung: IM THE CLOSEST YOU HAVE TO A CHINESE FRIEND HERE YOU SHOULD APPRECIATE ME  
princess soojung: youre barely taiwanese give it a rest  
princess soojung: anyway  
princess soojung: SF has been good  
princess soojung: jessica is back from college and she loves it im so jealous  
puppy: dont say that!!! it means ull have to separate from us :(  
princess soojung: **id be happy to get away from amber lol**  
amber hyung: **I SWEAR TO GOD JUNG SOOJUNG**  
puppy: i dont understand!!  
puppy: seoul is nice i like seoul  
puppy: pls pray that i get to live here after college  
puppy: how about u amber??? hows LA??  
amber hyung: I MISSED IT SO MUCH  
amber hyung: I MISSED SPEAKING ENGLISH TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN KRYSTAL  
amber hyung: I MISSED CALI  
princess soojung: **wow crazy much**  
princess soojung: **its been like 5-6 months since you left chill**  
amber hyung: **bitch shut up**  
princess soojung: **make me**  
amber hyung: **wow sexual tension~**  
princess soojung: **fuckin ew get away from me**  
puppy: guys stop!!!!!!!

Private chatroom: giant baby

puppy: jinriiiiiiiiiii i miss u!!!!!!!  
giant baby: i miss u tooooooo awwww  
giant baby: whats going on?  
puppy: i wish i understood english :(

+++

The beginning of their senior year did not start in the big bang they had anticipated. The main problem they faced dealt with the issue that they were no longer sharing one suite. In fact, they were split up into three different floors. Victoria was placed on the third floor and Krystal was on the second. By some miracle, Amber and Luna weren't separated at all. They remained together in the first floor, with their rooms still right next to each other. Luna didn't want to say it was fate, but sure felt like it.

"There has to be some mistake!" Krystal shouted once they got their room assignments. "We have never been separated! Ever!"

"We've been suitemates since middle school and they choose now to separate us?" Luna stared at her room assignment card in disbelief. It was going to be strange not to see Krystal shaving her legs in her room every morning when she woke up, or to be kept up at night by the smell of Victoria's Chinese noodles late at night.

"Vic, you're student body president! Do something!" Krystal shoved her room assignment hard to Vic's hands. The Chinese student looked mildly irritated but quickly regained her composure.

"Even if I could do something, I'm not the student body president this year. They'd have to elect me again for me to be president."

"Ugh, what is going on with the world? How am I supposed to face a critical year in my life without my best friends?"  
Amber snaked her arm around Krystal's waist and pulled her tight, hugging her.

"Don't worry Krystal, we'll still be here for you, we're just a few stairs away."

The three girls hugged Krystal, who seemed to be more affected by the room assignments than any of them thought she would. Krystal had always been cool and indifferent, to see her freak out over being separated from her best friends brought a sense of warmth in Luna. It made her see the love that she must have felt for each of them.

It took several hours for Krystal to stop threatening to sue the school and soon enough, she was already forming a new fan club made up of the different girls that lived on her new floor. Victoria immediately threw herself into student council on the first day, strongly intending on getting elected once more for a second term. As a result, Amber and Luna were left together. Luna felt grateful to whoever worked at the housing office for deciding not to separate the two girls. In the short eight months that they had known each other, Luna already considered Amber to be her best friend. They shared cuddles most nights and told each other many of their dark secrets. There wasn't a day where the two didn't call when they were on their break. Luna would be lying if she said that none of these things made her heart do cartwheels all around.

For most of the day, they helped each other unpack, moving boxes and folding clothes into drawers. Amber had gotten her a whole bunch of posters from LA of her favorite singers and helped her hang them up as they both sang songs from Luna's laptop. While in Seoul, Luna had purchased two frames and placed in the first one, a picture of the four of them. In the second frame, she had placed a picture of the two of them, taken the night they snuck out of their dorms. This particular picture, Luna kept in her drawer, under piles of clothes, so that she could only take it out when she was alone.

When it had reached dinnertime, the four girls reconvened and ate together. Krystal was telling stories her sister had told her about college life, garnering much excitement from the girls. Luna, however, just couldn't seem to get fully into the conversation. She had been busy trying to keep her eyes and thoughts away from how Amber looked that day. Ever since that fateful night where the four escaped right before their finals, Luna's feelings had been jumbled up, to say the least. Not a day went by during their break where Luna wasn't confused - there was something different about Amber that made her feel hot and cold at the same time. She had indulged in this feeling all summer long, but by the end of it, she decided that this feeling was not something she could afford. Luna didn't like Amber in that way - she couldn't. And Amber most certainly did not like her in that way either.

So she decided to no longer indulge into such emotions. Any little thing Amber would do to her, would be dismissed as something done out of friendship, not because she wanted to push her against a wall and kiss the life out of her. Maybe if Amber looked exceptionally pretty one day (like that particular day), Luna would allow herself to make a small comment to herself, maybe even a few lingering thoughts at the end of the day, but that was it. There was nothing else she could or should do.  
After dinner ended, Amber and Luna walked back to their rooms together. Luna had felt particularly accomplished that day because she truly felt her strange feelings for her friend slowly dissolve. Even when Amber slung her arm around her shoulder, there weren't as many tingles that came as she had expected. As they headed back to their own rooms, it felt as though a big weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. There were no warning signs, no cartwheels in her stomach like during the summer, and Luna could actually breathe normally when she thought about the girl who lived next door. There was only relief. Luna got herself ready for bed and laid down quietly under the covers, allowing herself a small smile. Feeling her heart beat normally in her chest for the first time in months felt absolutely relaxing.

But just as she was ready for her eyes to close, the door cracked open, allowing some light into the room. Luna didn't have to look to know who it was-Amber had come in. She wasn't going to let this ruin her progress. She knew that this was going to happen sooner or later, so she trusted herself enough to deal with the problem and move on. Luna kept her eyes closed as she heard Amber's slippers drag quietly from the door towards her bed, where she slowly laid down in the empty space right between Luna and the wall. At first, Luna managed to stay calm. Her heart rate was normal and she was able to breathe without feeling all cluttered in her stomach. And then, she felt an arm curl from behind her to embrace her. It had been months since the two shared the same bed, and the touch of the girl behind her made her feel warm once again - a warmth she had missed in their time apart. At this point, Luna still had her eyes closed, feigning sleep.

" _Gangaji_ , are you asleep?" Amber whispered into her ear. Luna didn't respond. She felt this was the only way to maintain her small, but significant progress.  
Everything was going well until Amber spoke again, this time in English.

"I'm so happy you're my friend. I don't know what I would do without you."

That was enough for Luna to feel everything rushing back in. The cartwheels in her stomach, the unstable heartbeat, the sweaty palms - nothing was left untouched. Luna had understood everything. Over the summer she spent time learning English to understand the secret conversations between Amber and Krystal. Every single word Amber had uttered that night in her native language, Luna could understand completely. The mere fact that Amber had spoken in English to prevent her from understanding, jumbled up Luna's thoughts even more.

Perhaps at the time, it might have been crazy to comprehend that just two simple sentences could have created such a massive effect on the young girl. She couldn't sleep a wink that night, and nor did her heart ever stop jumping, but looking back, it wasn't really a matter of what could have sparked such an intense rush, but a matter of when it would happen. With Amber and Luna, it was always a matter of when.

+++

The next "when" came just a month later, as the four friends laid down together on the floor of Luna's room, and a familiar ringtone began blasting through the room, coming from the phone of the room's primary occupant. Not even bothering to check the caller ID, Luna immediately answered the call, waiting for a response from the other line.

"Hello?" Luna said, her eyes droopy from the lack of movement she experienced the whole day.

"Park Sunyoung!" A familiar voice shouted. It took only a few seconds for Luna to register the voice of the caller.

"Choi Jinri! Yah, where have you been?" Luna shouted back. As soon as Victoria and Krystal heard Sulli's name, they immediately sat up, their faces filled with excitement.

"Sulli! Where are you?" Krystal shouted. Not wanting to damage anybody's earphones, Luna put the call on speaker.

"I have good news for you guys!"

"What?" Victoria joined in.

"Pack your bags ladies, I'm coming over on Saturday to pick you up. You'll all be staying at my apartment this weekend!"

Krystal squealed. "Wait, what apartment?"

"I have my own place now! I mean, it's not much, but it would totally fit all four of you pretty easily!" Next to Luna, Amber's eyes widened in shock.

"I can come too?" She asked, sounding flattered and surprised at the same time. From the other line, Sulli laughed.

"Of course! You're part of the gang now!" Amber placed a hand on her chest, as if to seem jokingly flattered to the point of tears, but Luna knew that inside, she really was flattered that way. "So my friends, pack your bags, meet me outside on Saturday at 9 and if we do this weekend right, no one will remember anything we did." Sulli declared and hung up. If Sulli had been there with them, it was almost guaranteed that she would have winked and exited the room without further explanation. She was always a fan of dramatic exits.

"So," Victoria began, standing up. "Anyone need help packing?"

 

When Saturday morning finally arrived, the four girls stood in front of the main gate, with each carrying their own duffel bags that Victoria, being the mom of the group, carefully helped them prepare. Not long after they started waiting at the front gate, a mini van pulled up in front of them. It was old, but in mint condition. The windows eventually rolled down, revealing Sulli, sitting in the driver's seat looking chic as ever in a pair of sunglasses. She flashed them a smile and called them over, unlocking the door.

"Let's go!" She shouted, taking off her sunglasses to see her friends run to the car.

"Where did you get the ride?" Luna asked.

"My cousin let me borrow it, come on! Did you guys think just because I've been out of this place for almost a year I'd come back in some expensive sports car and a penthouse in Gangnam? Get real, ladies." Sulli explained as she cooly put on her sunglasses, looking like she had just come out of a fancy commercial.

That was the deal with Sulli - she was arguably the most beautiful out of all the girls. Whenever they would visit the boys boarding school, there would never be an instance where Sulli would leave without a few boys tailing behind. Sulli and Krystal were both incredibly beautiful and alluring, but the thing that had set the two apart was how each of them dealt with such attention. Krystal was naturally confident - she could play boys with as much ease as playing the piano. Whatever anyone would say about her, she just wouldn't care. At the end of the day, it was her getting all the attention and praise, and not them. Sulli, on the other hand, was quite different. She was the shy kind of beautiful, the one that would always unintentionally end up winning the hearts of boys (and girls) she had only known for several minutes. But Sulli was never as confident as Krystal, so when people started saying bad things about her, she could never deal with it well. It was the reason why she dropped out of their school, after all.

"Are you Amber?" Sulli asked once she spotted the short-haired tomboyish girl climb into the backseat.

"Hi, I'm Amber!" Amber held her hand out to shake Sulli's but Sulli stared at it strangely and pecked it instead, bursting into a fit of laughter.

"Choi Jinri, stage name Sulli, future megastar, nice to meet you," Sulli replied casully, looking at the road as the sunlight hit her face. She truly did look like a star. "I love your hair."

Amber's face lit up. "Really? Thank you! I like your sunglasses!"

Sulli flashed a smile at her and took off her sunglasses. "Here, you can wear them," She pulled another pair out of her bag and put them on, her star quality not once fading. "I brought a lot more."

Amber hesitantly took the sunglasses from Sulli's hand, face filled with confusion, and put them on. She turned over to Luna, as if to ask how she looked, and received two thumbs up in response.

"Yah, _gangaji_ ," Amber whispered, gently poking her arm. A new set of shivers ran through her arm. "I like Sulli a lot."

"You should, Sulli's my favorite little baby!" Luna reached out to pinch Sulli's cheeks and instantly, her friend's cool facade fell, revealing the girl that used to act as the adorable baby of the group. Sulli whined and tried to swat Luna's hands away.

"I'm not a baby!" Sulli yelled, throwing Luna a glare through the rearview mirror.

"Yeah, right!"

"Unless you want us to crash, you two better cut it out!" Victoria interrupted. She pulled Luna's hand away from Sulli's cheek and sat down calmly. "Luna, you can pinch her cheeks later but not now, let Sulli drive."

Luna could see the younger girl smirk and stick her tongue out and crossed her arms. Victoria seemed to notice it too and rolled her eyes.

"And Sulli, you know you're the baby here, don't even try to deny it." Sulli's smirk immediately turned into a pout.

"Thank you, Mama Vic!" Luna shouted, damaging the eardrums of every passenger in the car.

The rest of the car ride was filled with more shouting and fighting, but it was all put to an end once Krystal went into full rage about not getting enough sleep. From that point on, it was a silent ride. It had taken them four hours to arrive at Sulli's apartment building, placed in a neighborhood of Seoul that Sulli was unfamiliar with. It wasn't Gangnam but it wasn't the slums either. Judging by the other tenants, Sulli's neighborhood seemed to be predominantly occupied by university students and young office workers. The five girls climbed several flights of stairs before they reached the apartment, placed right in the corner of the fourth floor.

"So, this is where I live now!" She announced, opening the door.

Sulli's apartment wasn't large, but it was large enough to fit five girls all at once. There was one moderately sized living room with a wide couch and a small television set. To the side of the living room, was a small kitchen, housing only a stove and an oven. Despite its size, everything seemed to fit perfectly. Since it was a one-bedroom apartment, Krystal, Victoria and Sulli decided to sleep in the bedroom together, and Amber and Luna decided to share the couch that could fold out into a bed. On the outside, Luna acted casually, as if their sleeping arrangement was something that couldn't be avoided, but inside, she felt as if her heart was ready to burst.  
As the girls formerly of Suite F unpacked in their respective areas, Luna heard the sound of Sulli calling out to her from the kitchen.

"Sunyoungieeeeeee!" Sulli shouted at the top of her lungs. For as long as they had known each other, Sulli had always been the only one in their group who called Luna by her real name. Luna placed her duffel bag on the floor and walked towards where Sulli was sitting.

"What's wrong?" The girl seated in front of her just smiled and pulled her into a tight hug. "Seriously, what's up with you right now?"

"Nothing! I just miss you!" Luna could feel her heart melting at the statement. She had always been close to Sulli and for as long as she could remember, always played the role of her bodyguard - if anyone wanted to hurt Sulli, they would have to go through Luna first. Seeing how much Sulli missed her made her feel so undeniably thrilled.

"Wait, tell me everything that's happened since you left!" Sulli pulled away from the hug and gave a smirk.

"You want to know everything?"

"Duh! Are you homeschooled now? Do you still want to be an actress? Where'd this apartment come from? Come on, give me the details!"

Sulli laughed loudly. "Chill! No, I'm not homeschooled. I do however, go to the arts school around here, so my parents got me this small place to stay in. As for the actress part…" She trailed off, her lips trying her best to contain a smile. Luna gasped and started hitting her friend's arm, motioning for her to continue. "I got a part in a drama!"

"OH MY GOD!" Luna shouted at the top of her lungs and the two girls started squealing. Their loud screams gathered the attention of the other girls in the apartment, and in just a few seconds, Victoria, Amber and Krystal rushed into the kitchen together.

"What happened? Is everyone okay?" Victoria asked.

"Sulli has a part in a drama!"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Krystal shouted, running over to hug Sulli.

"It's only a small role though - I play a handmaiden with a couple of lines in this historical drama, but it's still a start!" Sulli explained, she tried to seem casual and nonchalant about the issue but no one could deny that she was ecstatic.

"Who the fuck cares? My baby is an actress!" Victoria shouted, and the four girls gathered into a hug and jumped together, leaving Amber standing in the corner. "Ah, I have to take a shower, but tell me everything later okay?"

"No, Vic, I wanna take a shower!" Krystal interjected as Victoria quickly ran towards the bathroom, locking the door from the inside.

In the kitchen, the three girls that remained only shook their heads and returned to their conversation. Sulli and Luna began talking about their memories together from middle school and Amber, understandably, felt left out. The three girls were sitting together on chairs by the round dining table and Amber tried her best to keep up with Sulli and Luna talking on and on about "the old days" in rapid fast Korean.

"Do you remember that whole month two years ago where I never slept in my room?" Sulli suddenly asked.

"Yeah! You were basically living in my room the entire time!" From the corner of her eye, Luna could see Amber's interest piquing at the mention of their living arrangements.

"You used to sleep in each other's rooms?" The short-haired girl asked, finally entering the conversation.

"Like all the time! Luna's room was basically my room." Sulli explained, placing her hand on top of Luna's. "Whenever I couldn't sleep or something was bothering me, there would always be a place on her bed for me."

The two girls exchanged smiles as Amber unconsciously began fidgeting next to them. After that conversation, she made less effort to join or even understand the things that Sulli and Luna were saying to each other. Amber was still there physically, but she withdrew in a way that couldn't really be seen unless someone was paying attention. And Luna was always paying attention.

Nothing was done to fix the situation, however, as Sulli had been gone from Luna's life in months, and there was so much to catch up on in such little time, so Amber's sudden quiet behavior was an issue for a later time.

After the entire day had been spent shopping, eating good food and drinking a lot of the alcohol Sulli had bought with her brother, the five girls separated into their respective living quarters a few hours past midnight. Sulli, Victoria and Krystal retreated into main bedroom while Amber and Luna were left to set up the couch. Once the sheets had been placed and pillows provided, the two girls slid under the covers and laid down next to each other like a routine they had countlessly practiced.  
Amber acted as silly and outgoing as usual throughout the day, but as Luna noticed through her never-ending observations of her friend, that was all it was - an act. The smile that she kept plastered on her face resembled the one that was present when they were talking to Jihyeon and Hyera in the bathroom months before. There was clearly something wrong with Amber, but there was never a chance for her to ask what the problem was. It took the two of them tipsy and stumbling through Sulli's living room couch until they were held under the covers for Luna to finally ask.

"Koala." Luna called out, poking the girl's nose. She wasn't drunk to the point where she couldn't form coherent sentences, but she was tipsy enough to act in the ways that would normally make her as red as a tomato.

"Are you talking to me?" Amber slurred out, clearly the drunker of the two. "Why are you calling me that?"

"Because you cling to me like a koala!"

"Whatever you say, gangaji."

There was a brief period of silence where the two girls just looked at each other, stifling their laughs. But eventually, Luna's curiosity got the best of her.

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Something's been bothering you the whole day - tell me what it is."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Luna sighed. "If you don't tell me then you can't sleep in my bed with me anymore."

The other seemed to tense at the mention of sleeping together. Amber looked away for a moment and shifted her body, so that she was facing the ceiling instead of the girl beside her. There was a brief period of silence where Amber wasn't saying anything and Luna was torn between pressing for more information or waiting patiently for the girl to open up on her own.

"You guys…used to do that a lot too, huh?" Amber finally choked out, her voice a faint whisper.

"What?" Luna really wished she would stop being so broad and cryptic.

"You and Sulli…slept together on your bed pretty often, right?" Maybe she was being delusional, but there was just a split second where Luna thought she heard something resembling disappointment in the other's voice. She tried not to think about it so much.

"Yeah," She answered, keeping her gaze fixed on Amber. The girl beside her did nothing else but stare at the ceiling. "Why?"

"I don't know. It's just…" Amber trailed off and finally faced Luna, turning her body. "I don't know why but I thought that maybe I was special because you let me sleep with you. I kind of got delusional and thought that was our thing."

The girl shook her head and kept chuckling, dismissing her own confession like a joke. Luna was confused. She couldn't decipher her friend's reason for being disappointed at the revelation of her and Sulli's frequent sleeping arrangements. She accepted the fact that Amber was in fact, jealous, but Luna didn't let herself believe - not even for a second - that she was jealous in a romantic way. She was almost a hundred percent sure that Amber's jealousy stemmed from the fact that they were best friends, and Sulli re-entering Luna's life made her feel replaced.

"I guess I'm just a little bit jealous. I know that Sulli is your best friend - I could never replace that! I thought that it was something only we did. But I mean, I get it if you see me more as someone to replace Sulli's role as your sleeping buddy than as a best friend, because honestly you're my best friend and--"

"Koala, are you _that_ drunk?"

"I don't know, why do you ask?"

"Because when you're sober, you're really smart. And if you were really smart, you wouldn't be stupid enough to believe that you're just a replacement to me," Luna reached for Amber's hand under the covers and laced their fingers together. "Okay, Sulli used to sleep in my bed too, so what? You're my best friend in the whole goddamn world, that's what matters. You sleep with me when you miss home and I become less of a boring person because of you - that's you and me. Only you and me."

"You're not boring." Amber replies, chuckling lightly.

"And you're not anyone's replacement," Luna squeezed her friend's hand and smiled. "Now stop looking at me. I want to be the big spoon for once!"  
Amber shook her head. "I like looking at you before I sleep, so don't tell me to turn around."

And there it was once again, the irregular heartbeats and the butterflies. Luna was at a loss for words and could only nod, holding back the huge smile that was begging to burst out. Amber smiled contentedly and closed her eyes, looking peaceful as ever. It took several minutes of Luna staring at her friend's face to realize that she was still holding her friend's hand, and her thumb was placed right at her wrist. She thought nothing of the position until she felt the skin beneath her thumb beat quickly. Luna thought that maybe something was wrong with Amber, but then but it wasn't until she realized her thumb was placed directly above her pulse that maybe she wasn't alone. If Amber's pulse had been quick, then that meant so was her heartbeat. And if her heart was beating like crazy too, then maybe Luna wasn't so stupid for having such a weird response to her friend.

 

Sulli drowsily dragged her slippers on the floor as she walked from her bedroom towards the kitchen. As the kitchen was right next to the living room, she passed the sofa where her two friends had been sleeping, expecting nothing out of the ordinary. But when she did finally make her way to the sofa, what she saw unconsciously made her smile wider than she thought was possible.

On the sofa, Amber had been sleeping normally, with her body facing the ceiling, but beside her, Luna had curled up close to the girl, resting her head on her chest and placing her left arm around her torso. Amber's own left hand was placed around Luna's shoulder, head resting on Luna's head. To Sulli, they looked like a real couple.  
Her two friends' sleeping positions greatly differed those she experienced when she used to sleep with Luna - back then, the two would be facing opposite sides of the bed, backs touching each other but nothing else. Sulli and Luna's sleeping positions looked and felt completely platonic. But seeing her friend with Amber, didn't look or feel platonic at all.

From behind her, she could hear Victoria and Krystal emerging from the room as well, passing by the sofa and not giving the two girls a second glance. Sulli looked at them in disbelief and followed the two tall girls.

"Is there something going on between them?" She whispered, pointing at Amber and Luna cuddling together on the sofa. Krystal and Victoria both exchanged knowing looks with each other and smirked.

Victoria nodded. "Yeah. They just don't know it yet."

+++

Amber wished she was anywhere else but here. Making sure that her best friend wasn't going to wander into a room alone and get herself into trouble was definitely not what she envisioned as a "great" night.

Today had marked the one-year anniversary of her arrival in Korea - they had just started their second semester of their senior year, so Krystal proposed that they make an appearance at Taemin's party. Since the start of the school year, they had been regularly attending the parties that Taemin and his friends would throw once every few weeks. They were rich enough to rent out entire clubs for a night for most of their parties, but the first of the new year kicked off with a house party at a mansion one of his friends owned.

At that point, Krystal and Taemin were sort of a thing, but because Krystal was Krystal, nothing was really set in stone. The only thing Amber knew for sure was that the boy was completely head over heels for her and would do anything for her attention. She suspected Krystal felt some version of that as well, but knowing Krystal, she was just too much of a coward to admit it.

That was probably where Amber and Krystal was most similar.

Except Amber never had a doubt in her mind that she was completely in love with her best friend.  
From the moment she met Luna, there was something about her that left her unable to speak. She had the cutest button nose Amber had ever seen in her life, and the little giggle she tried to hide when she spoke for the first time in her broken Korean made her even more nervous. It was supposed to be just a little crush that would fade away once the appeal of the new environment wore off, but when she found out Luna would be living right next to her, Amber knew right away that that would not be a possibility.

But by the beginning of her senior year, Amber decided to put a stop to it. Once she graduated, she would go straight home to Los Angeles. Luna, would be staying in Korea. It wouldn't work out - they would have to separate and Amber didn't know if she could handle such a significant goodbye. So it seemed that the only way she could save herself from getting hurt was to stop her little crush and wait until college to explore herself.

They would still be best friends - she would still sleep in Luna's room every night and they would still spend every waking moment they had with each other, the only difference would be that Amber would try not to get too hung up on how her friend's hair looked that day, or if her shorts revealed so much skin that she couldn't even look at her without getting short of breath. Amber was going to be a mature adult, and she was going to get through this.  
Until the two cuddled like an actual couple the whole time they were at Sulli's.

But apart from that, she was completely over Luna. Totally. Why else was she following her around that Taemin's party, making sure she wasn't getting into any dangerous situations? Because they were best friends. That was totally all.

"Koala!" Luna shouted from across the room once she had finished doing another round of shots. She wasn't completely wasted yet, but she was definitely getting there. Amber knew she should probably start limiting the amount of alcohol Luna was taking in, but Kibum was right next to her with really good weed, and what position was she in to refuse? "Koala stop smoking and come here!"

Amber took one last hit from the joint and passed it back to Kibum, who poked her arm with his elbow and motioned to Luna. She had her arms crossed and was stomping the floor like a child.

"Your little puppy is waiting for you." Kibum teased, earning himself a hard hit in the stomach.

"Shut up." Amber took a deep breath and walked towards her friend, who had decided it was a good idea to pour herself another drink.

"Koala, do you want one?" She shook her head and quickly swiped the drink from Luna's hand just as she was about to take a sip. "Amber!"

"You've clearly had enough to drink."

"And you've clearly had enough to smoke." Luna took the drink back before Amber could even realize and gulped it all down at once. She might have been small and adorable, but she was one hell of a drinker. "See? I'm fine!"

Luna was never fine whenever she started drinking alcohol. Amber had to learn it the hard way during their summer break when she suddenly got a call from a very drunk Luna one morning back home. She was screaming and running all over the place and there wasn't anything she could do to help from all the way across the globe. Amber was however, able to get in touch with Taemin who drove all the way to where Luna was drinking and brought her home. That was her first glimpse at how irresponsible she could get when she drank - a fact that was apparently old news to Victoria and Krystal.

"Where's Krystal?" Luna shouted, the volume loud enough to burst Amber's ear canal.

"She's probably in a room somewhere with Taemin," The shorter girl huffed a piece of hair from her face and stomped her feet again. "What's wrong now?"

"Let's find them!" She exclaimed and immediately ran to the nearest room. Her speed was too fast for Amber to keep up with her and Luna opened the door of the nearest room, jumping to the doorway with nothing but excitement spread across her face. "Krystal! Is that you?"

"Yah, close the door!" A deep female voice shouted from the room and slammed the door in her face.

"Was that her?" Amber asked as Luna walked back to the kitchen.

"No," She shook her head. "If that was Krystal she would have thrown the lamp at my face."

Maybe Amber was still a little too buzzed from Kibum's weed, but she found herself unable to control her own laughter.

"Looks like I'll have to check every room in this house!" Luna exclaimed confidently, and Amber's momentary buzz completely shattered. She couldn't just go around checking every room to find her friend (who probably would have thrown the lamp at her face) - drunk, hormonal teenagers wanted their privacy, and I'm going to give it to them goddamn it!

" _Gangaji_ no!" Amber quickly pulled Luna's arm before she could sprint off. She pulled her friend back to the kitchen a little too hard, and the two ended up only inches away from each other. Amber felt like she could hear her heart beat in her chest, and that maybe Luna could probably hear it too.

The two girls were frozen in their places, until the shorter (and drunker) of the two spoke up.

"Amber, I feel…" Luna trailed off and looked directly at her eyes. Amber held her breath. She was getting closer and closer, and she was beginning to think that maybe this was it - when all rationality would be thrown out the window and she would let herself fall completely.

But this was real life. And things were never that easy in real life. And the next thing Amber felt was vomit covering her white shoes.

"I feel sick…" Luna mumbled immediately afterwards, throwing her arms around Amber's shoulders. Amber sighed. It wasn't the first this had happened.

"I told you not to do those body shots."

"But they were so fun to do."

"But you end up throwing up and--"

Amber was cut off by the sound of commotion coming from the front door, where Minho had reentered with a whole box full of alcohol. Luna's head immediately shot up and ran to him, going much too fast for someone who just vomited.

"This girl, I swear." She mumbled as she tried her best to catch up with the tiny girl.  
Luna's hand suddenly made it to the box as she swiftly grabbed a bottle of tequila from Minho's reach and skipped away from the crowd, pulling Amber along with her.

"What are you doing? Put it back, Luna!"

She shook her head. "Nope. I paid for this."

"No, you didn't. The guys paid for it. You're just mooching off from them." Amber tried taking the bottle away from her hands, but she was too slow. She wasn't going to let Luna drink even more alcohol, but the task was much more difficult than it seemed.

"It's mine, don't try to steal it - hey!" Luna was suddenly distracted by the sight of two shadowy figures kissing underneath the staircase. Amber saw this as an open opportunity and took the bottle of alcohol from her hands, placing it on a nearby table. She was too preoccupied with getting Luna away from more alcohol that she didn't realize that the two figures she was approaching were Krystal and Taemin. Things would definitely get bad if Amber didn't stop her.

" _Gangaji_!" She whispered and ran to pull Luna by the shoulders before she would ruin whatever intimate thing was happening between Krystal and Taemin. She could tell Luna was about to say something in protest and instinctively covered her mouth. Amber opened the nearest door, praying that it wasn't a bedroom occupied by other horny teenagers (seriously, how many bedrooms did this house have?), and pulled Luna in with her.

She switched on the lights and found that she had struck luck when she realized that they were in a bathroom. Luna began pouting and sat down on the floor. Amber had never seen anything so adorable in her life and tried her best to resist just kissing her right there. She would probably taste like cheap alcohol, but Amber wouldn't mind if she tasted like sewer water, as long as it was Luna.

She decided to sit on the floor next to her - she was still buzzed, a little bit tipsy but very much exhausted. But before she could process anything that was going on, Luna immediately crawled over to the toilet bowl and started to vomit again. Without even a second thought, Amber quickly held her hair and began rubbing circles on her back. Luna continued to vomit, the sounds she made were reminiscent of a dying whale - but that was always how she was like whenever she drank.

"This sucks!" She moaned, facing the toilet bowl.

"Imagine how much more it'd suck if you decided to finish that bottle of tequila." Amber replied, but her answer was drowned out by the sound of Luna slowly dying from her queasiness. After every puke session, Amber made sure she drank water, keeping her hydrated through the torture. Once she made it through five minutes without vomiting, she sunk to the floor once more and laid her head on Amber's lap. There was a brief period of silence where she settled with running her hands through Luna's hair, but it was broken once Luna turned her head to face her.

"Koala, what's wrong?" She asked, reaching over to touch her hand.

Amber shook her head. "Nothing's wrong. Why do you ask?"

"You've been sleeping in my room every night. Are you homesick?" Amber tensed. She didn't want to admit that the reason she had been sleeping there every night was because she was afraid of losing Luna after graduation. That was something she couldn't even admit to herself. "Don't be homesick. I won't let you be homesick. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

Luna let out a droopy, lopsided smile. The smile she only gave when she was drunk. "Because I'm your home, koala."

Don't fuck this up. Don't ruin your progress. Don't look at her smile. Don't think about how cute she looks. Don't get hung up over this. It took almost everything in her to not let herself fall into everything Luna was saying. It was difficult. How else was she supposed to react when the girl she had been in love with for over a year said something like that?

Amber stayed silent and gave her a small, polite smile. She decided that that was an appropriate response. She had to set a barrier. A polite smile would be the foundation of that barrier.

Until Luna spoke again.

"You definitely know how pretty you are, don't you?" Amber slowly raised her head and looked at her. She seemed serious. "You know, ever since that night you made me sneak out, the only thing I can think of whenever I see you is how absolutely fucking pretty you are. Especially when Krystal does things to you. What do you guys do when you're alone in her room? Do you have a fun time speaking English to each other? Yah, I'm your best friend and I'm jealous. Tell me, are you guys secretly fucking? Because if you are and I hear it from someone else, then that'll break my fucking heart."

There was so much Luna was saying that was so significant to their situation, but Amber could only pay attention to the amount of times she said the word "fuck" in their conversation. She was adorable when she swore. She wasn't going to try and analyze what Luna meant when she called her pretty, or when she said she was jealous about her friendship with Krystal, because she was drunk and anything she said would just be false hope for Amber. Why would Luna care if she was secretly hooking up with Krystal (not that she was), anyway?

"I think about you at night sometimes, you know." Amber's eyes shot up. Was Luna saying what she thought she was saying?

"Wait, what?"

The girl shrugged. "I haven't thought about you like that in a while because you're always sleeping in my room, but sometimes when I'm alone…"  
Amber gulped. Luna trailed off but the details she had said were enough for Amber to feel heat forming in her lower body. She was entering dangerous waters and she couldn't decide if she liked it or not. It didn't make sense at all - did she really think about her at night? There was no way she could have thought about her that way, right?

"Luna, what are you saying--"

"Koala, I have to do something." Luna started to rub her stomach and looked at her uneasily. Amber immediately knew that she was going to vomit again. She felt Luna's muscles begin to move and she feared that she would end up vomiting all over herself. She braced herself to shift Luna's body towards the toilet bowl so she would at least have somewhere else to aim her vomit, but what happened instead took her by absolute surprise.

Out of nowhere, Luna sat up and lunged towards Amber, pressing her lips against the short-haired girl. It was a sweet, innocent kiss, tasting almost exactly how Amber had imagined, but that wasn't what was important. What was important was that Luna, the Park Sunyoung - Amber's best friend in the entire world - was voluntarily kissing her. She realized that she was drunk and that maybe she shouldn't be taking her actions so seriously, but Amber would be lying if she said that it didn't make her heart do a million cartwheels all at once. She wanted more. She wanted so much more. She wanted to feel Luna's lips against hers slowly, briefly, every single day before bed, before class, in the morning with their bedhead and sleepy eyes - she wanted everything they could be. But it was wrong. Luna was just drunk. It wasn't real. What fantasies Amber had envisioned in her head were just that - fantasies.

When Luna finally pulled away, she gave a small giggle before returning to her spot on Amber's lap, falling asleep blissfully unaware of the turmoil she had just caused her friend.

+++

When Luna's eyes fluttered open in the morning, all she could think about was the pounding that persisted in her head. The sun blasting through the window was too bright, but just as she was struggling to find the blinds, they had suddenly closed by themselves. In the darkness, Luna was able to fully open her eyes and saw her best friend sitting on the chair by her desk, ready with a glass of water, pills and a piece of buttered toast. Taking the glass of water, she gulped it down in one go and swallowed the pills along with it, praying to the powers above that it would take effect immediately. Once she settled, Luna sat up straight and caught Amber gazing at her with her chin rested on her hand. She looked focused-like she was deep in thought. It was rare for her to be like that.

"What happened last night?" Luna asked, and Amber's focused gaze immediately turned to one of amusement. "I don't remember anything."

"What else is new?" She quipped, earning herself a sharp hit on the shoulder. "Nothing happened."

Luna narrowed her eyes. "I don't trust you - something always happens when I black out." She held her breath. It was almost a given that she probably did something embarrassing the night before, but she cared enough about her friend's opinions that she had to make sure she didn't do something too bad.

Amber's face seemed hesitant, as if worried about something she could possibly reveal.

"Yah, you're hiding something! Tell me!" Luna insisted.

"You really wanna know?" The shorthaired girl asked. Luna nodded her head and Amber took a deep breath. Out of nowhere, she whipped out a pair of smelly, stained shoes from under the bed and shoved them to Luna. "You vomited on my shoes, you bitch!"

She laughed. That was no surprise. "Oh, don't worry about that, I'll pay for the cleaning fee."

"I fucking told you not to do those body shots!"

"Come on!"

"You almost went through every room looking for Krystal and Taemin."

"Yeah, because those two kids need to work something out! I can't keep opening my window late at night to help him sneak in!"

"Well if you didn't have those body shots, you wouldn't have tried to steal an entire bottle of tequila from Minho."

Luna rolled her eyes. Amber was being overbearing. It wasn't like she never took care of her drunk before. She even took care of her through the phone once. It was embarrassing, but actually somewhat sweet once she thought about it sober.

"Hey, a few body shots never hurt anyone!" Luna defended, lightly pushing her best friend by the shoulder. She expected Amber to roll her eyes and retaliate with an even harder shove, but she never did. Instead, her eyes just seemed to glaze over distractedly as she nodded, a small smile forming in place of the laugh she had expected. Luna didn't think much of it - she was probably just worn out after having to spend the entire night taking care of her, there wasn't really much else to it.

In a soft voice she replied, "Yeah, I guess it never did."

+++

It had sort of became a tradition for the four girls to meet up and do something they weren't supposed to do the weekend before any major exam week. Ever since Amber convinced them to sneak out before finals week of the year before, they had all somehow agreed to continue the tradition together. For the weekend before their first semester midterms, the four girls snuck out past curfew to one of Taemin and his friends' parties. Then for the weekend before the finals of the same semester, Krystal thought it would be fun for them to break into the offices of their teachers and read their own files. The weekend before their second semester midterms, however, ended up becoming sort of a flop, as the only "rebellious" thing they did that night was help Taemin sneak into Krystal's room for the hundredth time that year. In the end, Krystal ended up being too occupied with the arrival of her not-boyfriend and nothing significant or fun happened that night.

But this - this was the one-year anniversary of their unofficial tradition, they had to do something. Luna suggested drinking somewhere in the school, but Amber shot down the idea immediately for reasons that she still couldn't decipher. There weren't really many suggestions that came after that, so the four girls just decided to sneak onto the roof of their dorm building and smoke a little baggie of joints Kibum gave Victoria for her birthday. Through Amber's friendship with Al, the maintenance man, getting up to the roof wasn't much of a challenge.

To the girls, the air was breezy - the weather was slowly thawing as they began approaching summer, but this sudden change from the frozen winter they had only served to remind Luna of their impending separation. They were to be separated by oceans, no longer a few minutes away as Luna had gotten used to after years of living right next to her best friends. After high school, things were going to be different, and there was no question in that statement. She wasn't going to see Amber's wide smile everyday, or hear the random mumbles of English she would sometimes let out in frustration - she wouldn't feel the warmth of Amber's body against her back anymore, not for a long time.

"Hey, are you okay?" Krystal asked, breaking Luna away from her thoughts.

Luna nodded and waved off her friend's concerns. "Yeah, totally!" She glanced at the taller girl, who seemed unconvinced but left her alone anyway. She probably already knew anyway - Krystal just always had her way of knowing.

Amber pulled out the plastic baggie of joints from her backpack, lighting one up before she placed it between her lips. She took the small joint between her fingers and slowly inhaled, bringing the substance into her lungs and blew out smoke, leaving Luna in a confused daze as she found herself staring at the smoke leaving Amber's lips. She felt a sudden urge to crawl closer to her and inhale the smoke, wondering to herself what it would feel being so close to Amber's lips. She thought about Amber's lips quite a lot, especially since the semester started. She wasn't sure what happened, but Amber didn't sleep in her room as much as she used to, and the lack of her warmth at night triggered something in Luna that made her incapable of thinking about anything else.

"Holy shit, Key." Amber declared and passed the joint along.

It wasn't long before the four girls all felt light and high as a kite. By this time, Luna had ended up with her head on Amber's lap, with the latter stroking patterns on her hair. Krystal and Victoria were on the ground too, heads faced up to stare at the starless sky. The joint had been passed around too many times that Luna could no longer keep track of who was holding it. Amber would put the joint between Luna's lips herself, pulling it away once Luna had inhaled enough. In a way, it felt kind of intimate - a different form of intimacy they had never experienced together before. Amber would place the joint between her lips and then between Luna's, blowing the smoke to the sky as Luna inhaled. They would lock eyes as Amber pulled the joint away, passing it over to Krystal. Luna would blow her smoke to her friend's face, and Amber would close her eyes as it hit her, as if she were savoring each moment. The look on her face made Luna tingle.

"Vic, are you really going back to China?" Krystal asked, sitting up from her position. On the ground next to her, Victoria only nodded.

"That dance school in Beijing is where I'm supposed to be." She replied calmly, without an ounce of regret or questioning. Victoria always had a clear purpose.

"But there's gotta be tons of great dance schools here too!"

Victoria laughed. "Why do you even care? You're not even going to be here, Miss Valley Girl."

Krystal looked defeated. She had a point. Once they graduated, Krystal would be going to college in America - at the same school as Amber. It was as if Luna needed another reason to be jealous of their relationship.

"I'm really going to miss you guys," Luna declared, facing her body to face the two girls. "We grew up together. Remember when Vic couldn't speak a lick of Korean?"

Krystal laughed at the memory. "You carried around a dictionary for a whole year when we were freshmen and made us do the same too, remember?"

"Damn, Vic, I picked up the language better than you did." Amber joined. Victoria rolled her eyes but laughed along.

"You guys should've learned Chinese."

Amber scoffed. "I learned Chinese!"

"That's what you think." She quipped, trying her best to stifle a laugh.

From Amber's lap, Luna had been too busy trapped in the weave of her own thoughts and her mind to pay attention to their exchange. She turned her head to face her three best friends and smiled. They were her life - and they always would be.

Luna pondered on telling them what exactly was going on in her mind but decided against it. It was still too early for them to be talking like they were already leaving. There was still prom, and graduation, and so many other chances for Luna to tell them how much they really meant to her. It wasn't the time.

But apparently, to Amber, it was.

"I love you guys so much," Amber confessed after taking a hit. Her eyes were red from the weed and her voice a little cracked, but she seemed earnest - like this was her only chance to say so. "I really don't know how I would've survived living alone in a foreign country if I didn't have all of you with me."

"Aw, Amber's getting sentimental." Krystal cooed.

"I mean it. You guys are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and even if I wasn't high, I'd be saying this stuff too," Amber then placed her hand on Luna's forehead and looked at her. Luna felt her heart beat out of her chest. "And you. Jesus, what would I do without you? This is all because of you."

There was a silence that followed as the two girls continued to stare at each other. There wasn't really anything that could be said - Luna said all she needed to with her eyes. She stared back at Amber with the greatest appreciation and love that anyone could ever give. Amber smiled. Luna didn't fully understand the meaning behind that smile - since the semester started, they hadn't been as close as they used to be. There would be times where Luna wouldn't see Amber for days at a time, or nights where Amber came to sleep in her room only to abruptly leave hours later. Luna didn't quite understand what happened - did she do something wrong? - but she chalked it up as Amber's way of coping with their impending separation. But the smile that Amber was giving her; that small, crescent smile, made things seem like they were okay again. It made her think that maybe they were at peace just tangled in each other, high on marijuana under the night sky. Maybe this was where she was supposed to be for the rest of her life.

In the middle of the silence, Krystal suddenly cleared her throat, breaking the intimate moment. "So, Amber, have you ever shotgunned before?"

Neither Luna nor Amber saw it, but Krystal was smirking. It was the smirk she had whenever she was planning something sinister, and Victoria noticed.

"Amber's the best at it." Victoria chimed, understanding the goal of Krystal's plan.

"What? No, I'm not." Amber replied sheepishly, her face immediately grew red. Victoria wasn't lying - Amber really was good at shotgunning. Luna had seen it herself many times in parties. Amber would always stay in the corner with the other stoners, and they would always find the time to shotgun each other. Luna had even joined in several times, but never with Amber. She would completely combust if she did it with Amber.

"You are, koala." Luna affirmed. Amber sighed, she knew this was a battle she would lose.

"Teach me how to do it! All of Taemin's friends do it, and it's always looked pretty cool to me." Krystal demanded eagerly - much too eagerly for it to be considered normal.

"Well…okay, if you really want to know that bad. Come over here." Amber motioned for Krystal to sit beside her but Krystal shook her head.

"I'm not going to embarrass myself the first time, can't you just show me first?" Amber sighed once again. She looked over to Victoria, motioning for her to come closer. She shook her head as well.

"I've never done it either. I wouldn't be of much help," She reasoned. "Hasn't Luna done it a few times? I'm sure she'd be a better option."

If they were any less high, they would have refused within milliseconds. But the reality was they were both stoned out of their minds, and maybe shotgunning each other didn't seem like terrible idea. Luna looked at Victoria before looking up at Amber, whose eyes seemed to harbor an emotion she had no way of identifying. She got up from Amber's lap and crossed her legs, sitting directly in front of Amber.

"Do you mind?" Amber asked, holding the joint in one hand. For some reason, Luna shook her head. She wasn't thinking straight - she wasn't thinking about what this would do to her mind or her heart, nor was she thinking about what could happen if they were only a few centimeters closer. Her mind didn't register the numerous possibilities and outcomes, but maybe that was why things seemed so easy.

Amber placed the joint between her lips and lit up the lighter, bringing fire to its tip. She inhaled as much of the substance as she could, keeping it between her cheeks as she took the joint away from her mouth. She moved much closer to Luna's face and gently placed her fingers at the back of Luna's neck. Their lips were so close, yet one move could change everything. Amber gently pushed the smoke from her mouth with her tongue as Luna parted her lips, inhaling the smoke from Amber's mouth into her lungs. They were close - too close for Luna to feel comfort. She only wanted more, but there was no way she could get more. She stared at Amber's lips, and suddenly felt a sense of familiarity with its texture, it was as if she had tasted them before and not known it.

Amber released her grip on Luna's neck and moved backwards, giving Krystal a smirk as she passed the joint to Victoria. "So?"

Krystal smiled sweetly. "I'll have to take a raincheck, babe." She replied in English, batting her eyes. Victoria giggled quietly - things seemed to be going Krystal's way, as always.

Luna, on the other hand, was numb. It was like her brain couldn't register anything at all. She took back her spot on Amber's lap, but she felt frozen. She could still feel where Amber's fingers had been on her neck, and where the smoke had kissed her skin. She felt a small smile creep through her lips and tried her best to hide it. It wasn't like anyone could know how much of a mess her mind was in just because of some stupid weed trick.

"We'll see each other again, right?" Luna asked once she was able to get ahold of her feelings.

"We have to. I mean, I'm coming back every summer and winter, so you have no excuse not to see me!" Krystal shot back, her tone sounded snarky and sharp, but Luna could tell she was trying to reassure herself as well.

Luna sighed. "I know but…" She turned her head and glanced over at Amber and Victoria. "What about you guys?"

Victoria suddenly turned away and took a deep breath. She knew the answer to that. They all did. But as the most mature of the four, she still had a front to maintain-a role to play.

"You know, China isn't that far from Korea…if I save up, I think I could come here over the summer." It was a long shot, but there was a hint of hope in Victoria's voice that made Luna believe her.

"You can stay over at my place the entire summer, so you'll only have to pay for your flight!" Krystal added, igniting excitement among the three girls. Victoria's eyes widened.

"Holy shit, that could actually work."

There was a brief period of anticipation and excitement between the three until they realized that there was another person among them - another person who was not sharing their joy. Luna remembered first - it was the only thing that consumed her mind.

"Amber? How about you?" Amber smiled in response. She wouldn't show any signs of worry - that just wasn't her. She would put on an act and hide the bleak truth. It was unlikely that they would reunite in the near future.

"Well, I'll be rolling in dollar bills from whatever job I'm getting in college, so you can totally expect to see me next summer." Her tone was light and joking, it was hard for them to take her words seriously, but for the sake of their friendship, they had to. Luna especially needed to believe that she would see her again after graduation - it wasn't completely impossible, right? In the midst of her worry, Luna felt a hand creep and rest on top of hers. Looking up, she found herself facing Amber, staring right at her with an expression that almost looked apologetic. Luna didn't want to read too much into it, she knew she would come to a conclusion she wouldn't like, and that was the last thing she ever wanted.

"Hey, I'm getting a little tired - last one before we go?" Victoria pulled out a joint from the baggie, smirking as she wiggled it in front of the girls. After a series of nods, the gathered the lighter and took a hit.

Their final round was relatively more quiet and relaxed than the ones they had earlier in the night. Maybe fatigue was finally getting to them, or maybe they were just trying to memorialize the moment by drinking in each second, but none of that really mattered to Luna, whose hand was still underneath Amber's, fingers interlocking. At that moment, nothing else existed other than her three best friends and the feeling of her hand in the comfortable warmth of Amber's. And once the joint was finished and the four girls decided to walk back, there wasn't a moment where she lost any of that warmth.

+++

"Koala," Luna began, suddenly clinging onto Amber's arm as they both stepped out of their very last final of high school. The relief that Amber felt after completing the exam quickly faded and was replaced with tension. Ever since Taemin's party, she became even more hypersensitive to every little thing Luna did - it was ridiculous. She just wanted it to stop.

"How'd you do on the test just now?" Amber asked, trying to distract herself from her touch.  
Luna shook her head. "Don't even bring it up, I think I'll have nightmares about that test until I turn fifty."

"It was rough."

"But whatever! All we have to look forward to now is prom and graduation! I'm so excited to have you as my prom date!" Luna squealed, gripping Amber's arm even tighter. They were going to prom together, as friends, obviously, but the mere idea of being Luna's prom date - even if it was just as her friend - still managed to make her tingle all around.

"Oh wait!" Luna suddenly exclaimed and stopped in her tracks. "Hey, Koala."

"What is it?" She asked, suddenly noting how Luna's sweet expression curled into one of mischief.

"We're going out tonight."

"Okay…where are we going?"

Luna started looking around for anyone who might be listening and suddenly pulled Amber to an empty classroom. Locking the door, Luna suddenly began unbuttoning the buttons of her uniform, the action itself making Amber's knees shake as she began walking backwards.

"Uh, h-hey…w-what are you doing?" Amber accidentally ran backwards into a desk, hitting her tailbone. Luna just kept unbuttoning her blouse, moving in a suspiciously slow speed. It had to stop. "Gangaji! What the fuck are you doing?"

Luna jumped, clearly surprised by her raised volume. She looked up at the girl facing her in panic, confusion painted all over her face until she pulled out two cards from her bra. She handed one to Amber and smiled to herself.

"I wasn't going to give you this until prom, but I swiped us some fakes!" She explained excitedly. Amber looked at the card in her hand. On it was a picture of her taken for the school records, along with a set of unfamiliar information meant to make her seem older. She raised her head from the card to look at Luna but was immediately distracted by the sight of her cleavage still on full display, her buttons still undone. Amber felt her heart beat faster as her hands started to move to the blouse, buttoning Luna's uniform for her and ending it once and for all before things would really get out of hand.

Once she was able to regain composure, Amber took in all the information from the card and faced her best friend, whose face seemed to look more cheerful than ever.

"Where did you get this?"

"Your girl isn't as innocent as you think! I have my own connections!"

Amber chuckled. "You mean the guys?"

"Whatever, the point is, you and I have fakes and the four of us are going out tonight, so get ready to get so wasted you won't remember anything we studied for finals!" Luna squealed. She looked so excited she was ready to burst. Amber, on the other hand, wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea. She knew something would happen if they both went out together - Luna would get drunk and do something to get her hopes up again. She couldn't have that - not when she was leaving in a few weeks. "So?"

She took a deep breath. "No."

Luna looked confused. _God, this was going to hurt._

"What?"

"I'm not going."

Luna laughed. She thought it was all a joke. "What are you talking about? Of course you're going!"

"No, Luna, don't you get it? I'm not going anywhere with you tonight if you're just going to be drunk out of your mind!" Amber exclaimed.

Her frustration with the situation only made the statement sound harsher than it was meant to, but she couldn't help it. Her heart was breaking in a million different ways, and if she had to go through another rendition of "Did she just kiss me? Does she like me? Is she just drunk?" a few weeks before she would have to leave, Amber might as well have just ripped her own heart out and served it on a platter.

"Why not?" Her voice, a moment ago bright and joyful, was now soft, like she was afraid to step on the wrong path. "Did I do something wrong?"

Amber wanted to stop. She really did. She wanted nothing more than to soften up and calmly make up an excuse that wouldn't hurt her best friend. But her survival instincts were kicking in. She felt the urge to protect herself from getting into more harm, and it seemed as though the only way to do that was to attack any threat around her - in this situation, that was Luna.

"You don't even remember! Jesus, why do you always do this to everyone around you?" Amber shouted, causing Luna to jump in fear. "Do you think it's healthy to drink yourself to death every single weekend? Do you know how many fucking times I've had to pick you up from the curb and hold your hair back while you puked on me? You're not the only one who feels shitty the next morning, Luna!"

_Stop. Right now. Don't fucking do this to yourself._

"I-I'm sorry, I n-never meant to--"

"But you do, don't you?" Tears were welling up in Luna's eyes now. God, why couldn't she control herself from saying this shit? "You do all this shit, and you don't even think about how it affects everyone else. It affects me in more ways than you can imagine. You're selfish, you know that?"

Luna's eyes widened at the accusation.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She began. The tremble that was previously present in her voice was gone. She sounded angry now. "Nobody forced you to do anything for me! I managed to do just fine without you - did you think I just stayed at home and did nothing before you moved here? I survived without you, it was your choice to follow me around like a fucking stray cat."

"Oh, so did you just expect me to abandon you? Some friend I'd be!" Luna crossed her arms.

"So, what's the real reason you're being a total asshat right now?"

Amber looked away. "You just love playing with me, don't you? Getting all drunk and telling me I'm pretty, or that you think about me at night - making me confused as fuck about us."

"Wait, what? When did I say--"

"And the worst part about it is, you don't even remember any of it. You don't remember any of the things you say or do that make me into a bigger idiot for you. To you, it's just some stupid thing you do when you're drunk. It doesn't mean anything." It was out. The frustration and confusion she felt after the kiss was finally released.

Maybe in a different situation, Amber would have felt happy - accomplished even. But not when Luna's eyes were glassy with tears and their friendship was hanging at the edge of a cliff.

"Doesn't mean anything? You--"

"Forget it. Just forget it." Amber interrupted, looking down at the ground. There was a sharp silence for a few moments, like they were waiting for a coin to drop and decide their fate. Amber knew she screwed it up. She ruined their friendship. She was just so impulsive - her defense system was just too strong and too obtrusive, it never knew when to stop. It was great at protecting her feelings, but it came at a high cost. An incredibly high cost.

Eventually, the silence broke. Luna huffed and shook her head.

"No, you forget it. Whatever we have--" Amber looked straight into Luna's eyes now. There was nothing but ice and daggers. "Forget about it. Forget prom. Forget I was even your friend in the first place."

With that, Luna turned around and left the classroom, leaving a protected, but regretful girl all alone. 

+++

They didn't speak for two weeks. For two whole weeks, there was nothing but silence between their two rooms. The doors that usually swung open and closed every few minutes stayed shut. When Amber lied awake at night, she stayed in her bed. She regretted every single word she said, but maybe it was better they ended that way. If she apologized and they made up, she'd only be caught in the same tangle of confusion again, and that was the one thing she wanted to avoid. If she wasn't certain Luna harbored no feelings for her at all, she was definitely sure now. In the two weeks between the end of finals and prom, Luna would never meet her gaze. Whenever they ran into each other in their shared bathroom, Luna would just act like she wasn't there. Amber felt like a ghost next to her.

Victoria and Krystal clearly noticed the change. The fight had split up their group - whenever Victoria and Krystal spent time with Amber, Luna could never come. If the two girls were visiting their floor, Krystal would come to Amber's room and Victoria to Luna's. That way, at least no one would feel left out. It was noticeably strange at first, however as the two weeks went on, an unplanned rhythm eventually formed, making Amber believe that things were just going to stay that way until graduation.

Until it wasn't.

"Open the door, Liu," Krystal called as she knocked on the door. Amber stood from the boxes of clothes she was packing and opened the door, revealing Krystal all clad in a gorgeous sapphire blue dress. She almost asked what occasion required such a fancy outfit when she realized the date - it was prom night. And once Krystal saw Amber, it was clear she disapproved of her outfit choice. "What the fuck are you wearing?"

Amber looked down at her clothes. She was wearing what she wore everyday - jeans and a hoodie. It didn't seem all too bad.

"Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'? It's prom night! I was going to ask if you needed a ride to the hotel, but it's clear you need a ride to your closet," Krystal immediately let herself in, walking towards Amber's now - empty wardrobe. "Um, what the fuck? Where's that jumpsuit we all agreed you'd be wearing to prom?"

She sighed as Krystal started rummaging through her boxes. "I'm not going to prom."

"You're joking. Why not?"

Amber shrugged. "I'm just not up for it tonight."

"God, this is about Luna isn't it?" Krystal groaned, rolling her eyes. "When are you two going to work it out? It's been going on for way too long."

"Well…maybe we're not going to work it out."

"Why are you so angry with each other?" Amber shrugged and looked away, refusing to meet her eyes. "It's not like you've never fought before, but why'd you have to have your biggest fight right before graduation?"

"Maybe it was the only way."

"What? The only way to do what?"  
Amber hesitated.

"You're so unnecessarily cryptic," Krystal scoffed, sitting Amber down on her bed. "If that's your way of trying to hide the thing you have for Luna, it's never worked."  
Amber raised her head, completely taken aback by her statement.

"You two are the definition of oblivious."

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

Krystal groaned again in frustration. "You're never in your room. You two couldn't even sleep without cuddling each other when we were at Sulli's place. You spent the entire weekend I came to LA calling Luna! And oh my god, do you see the outfits Luna wears whenever we go out? I'm not into her but even I can't take my eyes off her chest."

Amber's face was still confused. "So? She's just trying to get laid!"

"Yeah! Who do you think she's trying to get laid with?" The shorthaired girl still didn't seem to follow her. "Am I supposed to spell it out for you?"

"Jesus, just tell me already!"

"Amber Josephine Liu is in love with Park Sunyoung, and Park Sunyoung is in love with Amber Josephine Liu. In case that wasn't clear enough - you, are in love with the girl living next to you, and the girl living next to you is in love with you. How else do you want me to put it? Should I use those horrendous nicknames you two made for each other? Koala is in love with Gangaji. Gangaji is in love with Koala. Get the picture?"

Amber rolled her eyes. "Don't fuck with me right now, okay Krystal? This is seriously not the time."

"I'm not fucking with you! Jeez, it's not my fault your skull is too thick to realize she's had heart - eyes for you since junior year."

"Okay, no - so you're trying to tell me that Luna…you're trying to tell me Luna likes me?"

"Obviously!"

"You're wrong on so many levels right now! She can't just like me. There's no way. We're just…we're just friends!" Amber buried her head in her hands. It became too much to process. She had been content with the fact that all she was experiencing was completely one-sided, and she was too afraid to admit that maybe Krystal really was on to something.

"Wait a second," Krystal began. She lifted Amber's face from her hands and studied her expressions closely. "Something happened between you two, huh?"  
Amber took a deep breath and sighed. She looked up at the taller of the two and shrugged.

"She kissed me, at the guys' party."

Krystal squealed. "Wait, that's great!"

"No, it's not great. She was drunk out of her mind, and you know what she's like when she's drunk! I mean, it clearly didn't mean anything, and how was I supposed to react when--"

"Jesus, don't tell me this is why you guys fought."

"Well, ding! You got it right. It doesn't matter anyway! The only reason she even kissed me was because she was drunk and there'd be no consequences - which is great if both of you are completely platonic and straight, but I'm neither of those things and she's both of them, so--"  
Krystal suddenly burst out laughing. "Wait a fucking second - you think Luna's straight?"

"Um…duh?"

"Didn't she tell you who her first kiss was?" Amber felt her palms begin to heat.

"Yeah, this Korean-American guy named Sam--"

"A popular nickname for Samantha." She finally stopped laughing, but the smirk that replaced it wasn't any better. It took a few seconds for Amber to fully register the implications of what Krystal was telling her, but everything she had heard was completely new and unexpected information - information that would have been useful two weeks ago.

"No…you've gotta be kidding me. You're telling me, this whole time, she's liked girls?" Amber half-shouted. Her mind rapidly went through every interaction the two shared and how everything seemed to have a completely different meaning after this revelation. "She…she likes girls?"

"God, you're so embarrassing. You also know that Luna's never been the type to lie or do things without meaning when she's drunk right? That stuff is like a truth serum to her. So that means if she kissed you, she's been thinking about doing it for a long time." Amber was frozen. I'm a fucking idiot.

"I-I have to tell her!" She shouted, breaking from her trance. She stood to retrieve clothes from the boxes, but Krystal was already beside her, soothing the wrinkles out of the purple jumpsuit she pulled in the middle of Amber's stupor.

"I got you covered, babe."

Krystal worked like an artist on a deadline - putting on makeup on her bare skin and styling her short hair into something somewhat presentable. It was a situation that they had both been in together numerous times. Krystal was always the one responsible for making Amber look presentable and she would never admit it, but Amber enjoyed how much care and time her friend put into making her look pretty; it was one of the many things she would miss about her friends.

Within fifteen minutes, Amber was primed and ready in the purple jumpsuit Luna chose for her when they were still prom dates. They ran towards the parking lot where Taemin sat in the driver's seat of his sports car, looking like James Bond in a black tuxedo and an expensive watch on his wrist.

"Looking good, Amber!" He complimented as she jumped into the backseat. He gave a small peck on Krystal's lips and smirked. "So, did you fix everything?"

"My work is never done." Krystal answered, looking pleased with herself.

With a chuckle, Taemin started the car and sped away from the parking lot. The hotel wasn't particularly far from their school, but with an impending confession on Amber's hands, it felt like it was in a separate country of its own.

"Is Luna at the hotel already?" Amber asked as she fidgeted in the backseat. It had only been fifteen minutes but it felt like fifteen years had gone by.

"Yeah, that guy Jooyoung picked her up half an hour before us." Krystal explained.

"Wait, Kim Jooyoung?" Amber asked, bewildered. "Luna's had a thing for that guy since they made out at that party last year. I can't believe she's going with him!"

"Not until you come and sweep her off her tiny feet!"

"Do you really think I'll be able to do that?"

"Well you're going to have to, because we're here." Amber turned to her side and saw that they had indeed pulled into the main lobby of the hotel. The three of them stepped out of the convertible and rushed towards the ballroom as Taemin handed over his keys to the valet service.

The ballroom was located on the floor above the main lobby, and even from the elevator, Amber and Krystal could hear the loud music blasting from the area. Stepping out, they stood in front of the entrance and stared in awe as they watched the ballroom pack with more and more students. Amber kept her eyes on the lookout for Luna but it was much too full, she couldn't see anyone.

"Guys!" A voice called from the ballroom. The two turned their heads to the source of the sound and saw Victoria emerging from the crowd in a stunning red dress-she looked like a celebrity. "Amber! You're here!"

"Have you seen Luna?" Amber asked.

"I've been so busy planning this event I haven't gotten the chance to see anyone," She sighed.

"Fuck, where is she?" Amber groaned, earning a suspicious look from Victoria.

"Why are you're looking for Luna? I am not allowing a brawl in the middle of prom - I have sacrificed too many hours of sleep to get this show up and running--"

"No, no, she's here to make up and confess to her!" Krystal explained.

Victoria's expression softened. "Really?" Amber nodded. "Well in that case, I know exactly where she is, follow me."

"You knew where she was this whole time?" Krystal asked, eyes flashing with disbelief. Victoria only shrugged.

"I couldn't have our group picture be ruined by two girls with black eyes," She explained, earning an agreeing shrug from Krystal. "Now come on!"

She took Amber's hand and led her into the ballroom, where the flashing lights and incredibly loud music seemed to impair both her hearing and vision at the same time. They ended up by the punch table where Luna and her date were dancing just a few feet away.

"She's right there," Victoria pointed. "Go get her, tiger."

Amber felt her heart stop when she caught sight of Luna. She never actually showed Amber what her prom dress would look like - just that they would both be matching in purple-but goddamn, was Amber glad she never did. Luna was in the most beautiful deep purple dress that rested comfortably on the floor and hugged her body perfectly. She was smiling. That was the most important detail of all - she was smiling and she looked happy, and it was then Amber realized that she would do just about anything to keep it that way. Even if it meant sparing her the heartbreak of their separation as something more than friends. They were going to be in two completely different continents. She could go on and confess to Luna and they could both be together - but what would happen after that? There was no guarantee on when they could see each other again after graduation, so wouldn't that just make everything worse? She would do anything to keep that smile on her face, even if it meant ending their relationship.

Amber just couldn't bring herself to walk over to her.

"I can't do this to her." She turned her body to walk away from the crowd but found herself bumping into Victoria and Krystal, who stood behind her with their arms crossed.

"Where do you think you're going, missy?" The Chinese girl asked.

"I can't do this - we're just going to have to say goodbye to each other after graduation, and I don't want to do that to her, how is she going to handle it?"  
Krystal chuckled and patted Victoria's back. "How about you take this one, Vic? I kind of ditched Taemin downstairs to get her here."

"Go get your boyfriend, I can deal with this," Krystal wished them luck and sprinted out the ballroom. Once she was out of sight, Victoria immediately turned to Amber.

"As for you, Yiyun--"

Amber gulped. The only time Victoria ever called her by her Chinese name was if she meant serious business. It felt reminiscent to a mother preparing to lecture her daughter.

"--you don't really think you're getting cold feet because you're afraid of how she's going to take it, do you? Because as I recall, there are two people in this relationship, and therefore two people that are going to have to handle all the problems that come along with it. I'm sure you're thinking about how hard it'll be on her, but I think you're mainly afraid of dealing with how you're going to deal with the separation," Amber stayed silent, keeping her eyes locked on the floor. She refused to meet her eyes because she knew they would be smug with confidence. Victoria took the lack of a response as agreement, forming a satisfied smile. "And if you're letting that fear stop you from trying, did she ever really mean that much to you after all?"

_Fuckity fuck fuck. The bitch is right. Is she ever wrong about anything?_

"Nope - I'm never wrong," She answered, as if reading her mind. Victoria flashed a wide smile and ruffled Amber's hair. "Now, go make me proud. I expect grandchildren, understand?"

"God, you're such a mom."

"I've been told."

Amber closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Glancing at Victoria for one last time, she opened her eyes and set her course to where Luna stood with her date.

"Here goes…absolutely everything." She declared and sped towards Luna.

Everything went by so quickly, it felt like her feet were moving at its own pace, on its own control. The whole situation felt like an out-of-body experience. Suddenly she found herself sandwiched between Luna and her date just as they were about to slow dance, with her face just centimeters away from Luna. The expressions that were on Luna's face changed each second - from surprised, to nervous, and finally, furious. Amber almost forgot they were technically fighting.

"What are you doing?" The shorter girl demanded, voice icy.

"I-I need to talk to you." Her expression didn't soften one bit.

"No."

"Please! I just really need us to talk." Amber was practically begging now. If she had to get on her knees she would, as long as it would get Luna to talk to her.

"I have nothing to say to you."

"That's fine! You don't even have to say anything, just hear me out!" She slowly took Luna's hand in hers and looked her straight in the eye. "Please."  
Luna's expression finally softened as she stared at their interlocking hands. She sighed and finally gave in.

"Five minutes," She finally decided. "But you have to apologize to Jooyoung for interrupting our date."

Amber nodded in agreement and turned to Luna's date. He had been standing behind them the entire time in complete confusion.

"Hey man, I'm really sorry to be cutting you guys off like that, but this is like one of those 'now or never'-type situations, you get what I mean? Like, if I don't tell her this very instant that I want to wake up to her face every single day until I die, I might never get the chance, you feel?"

"Wait, what did you just say?" Luna asked behind her, gripping her hand tighter. Jooyoung nodded, seemingly understanding the quick explosion of words that had just been thrown at him.

"You gotta do what you gotta do for love, man - I respect that."

"Yo, I owe you, dude." The two bumped fists and Amber turned around, dragging Luna with her as they retreated from the ballroom.

"Amber, what did you mean just now? Why did you say that to him?"

"I'll explain everything in a second!"

She pulled Luna into one of the restrooms and closed the door. Luna's face was a mix of frustration and confusion, two expressions that only made Amber even more nervous. She leaned her back on the door as the other girl waited expectantly, foot tapping on the floor.

Luna glanced at her watch. "Four minutes and thirty seconds."

"What?"

"I'm walking out of here in four minutes and twenty-nine seconds, so if you have something to say, now would be the time."

Amber threw out a nervous laugh. "I don't even know where to start."

"You could start with that thing you said to Jooyoung. What did you mean by that?"

"Oh…t-t-that…well, funny story, uh…" She trailed off, not exactly knowing what to say. She had been so preoccupied with getting Luna to listen to her, that she didn't realize that was only half the problem - Amber never thought about what exactly she would say to her.

"Are you not going to say anything?" Luna asked. The girl standing in front of her had been silent for almost an entire minute, trying to piece together her thoughts. Luna let out a disappointed chuckle. "This isn't going anywhere, I'm leaving."

She gently moved Amber from the doorway and turned the handle. She was ready to walk away when the Amber finally found it in herself to speak.

"January 9, 10:30 in the morning."

Luna turned around. "What?"

"There are only three moments I remember by date - the first time I had boba, JackJack's birth, and…meeting you." Amber slowly raised her head and met Luna's eyes. Her face was blank, as if she was trying to process whatever revelation was going on in her mind.

She decided to continue her words. "On January 9, at 10:30 in the morning, I stood in front of that Korean literature class scared shitless. I thought I must've really fucked things up to have to move all the way to a different continent to finish high school. But at 10:31, I looked up and you were the only girl who smiled at me with all the sincerity in the world, and at that moment I knew - I knew I wanted to see that smile every single day for the rest of my life."

Luna was completely speechless. It didn't seem like she was about to say anything, so Amber decided to just let everything in her mind pour out.

"Didn't you ever wonder why I never slept in my room? Yeah, at first it was because I was homesick, but, fuck. Waking up to your smile every morning is like watching a sunset for the first time. It ruined actual sunsets for me. Like, for real. I went hiking and I saw a real pretty sunset, but all I remember thinking was, 'This is still second to Luna.' - like, it's that bad," Luna's blank exterior broke for a split second as a tiny smile crept on her lips. "I'm kind of blabbering at this point, but I mean, you know you're great. At least I hope you do. You're a human sunshine. And I'm basically a human hurricane after what I did to you."

Luna rolled her eyes. "You're overreacting."

"I'm not. You mean the entire world to me and I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I did that stupid shit to you. You have every right in the world to just walk out that door and never talk to me again forever. You don't have to forgive me. We don't have to have any relationship at all after this. But I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I was stupid and confused, but that's no excuse for hurting you like that. I should've been straightforward with you and told you what was on my mind instead of making you feel bad. Because, well, the big fucking truth is that I'm stupidly in love with you and I have been since January 9, 10:31 AM."  
Luna stayed silent. Her face reverted back to its blank state, but through the corners of each feature, Amber could recognize that she was thinking, trying to process everything that had been said. But still, the silence was terrifying. Luna had never been difficult to read - everything that went on in her mind always almost immediately translated to her face. But this was completely different. Aside from recognizing that she was thinking, Amber couldn't identify any other emotion.

"Luna, I--"

"Shut up," She looked straight at her this time. Her gaze was piercing and intimidating, it made Amber's knees shake in fear. Luna took a step closer to her, lessening the space between them to just an inch. "I want to try something."

Closing her eyes, the shorter girl slowly closed the gap that separated them, pressing her lips against Amber's. Amber froze where she stood, her heart was beating like crazy in her chest, but all she could focus on was how Luna's fingers intertwined with hers as they kissed. She took in the scent of her perfume - vanilla - and how her lips felt soft and warm. She moved her arm and curled it around her waist, pulling her closer. She felt Luna smile against her lips and grip her fingers tighter. It wasn't the first time they kissed but it was the first time they did with everything out on the table - there were no more secrets, just how they felt about each other, and Amber wanted to remember every single detail there was.

Luna pulled away and tilted her head, staring strangely at her best friend.

"Have we…have we kissed before?"

"Uh…well..." Amber didn't say anything, but her lack of an answer gave Luna the confirmation she needed.

"Oh my god," Luna buried her face in her hands and turned away from Amber, completely mortified. "When did I ever get the guts to kiss you?"

"The guys' party a few weeks before finals…" She mumbled.

Luna quickly turned around and gasped. "When I threw up on your shoes? When I was fucking drunk?" She shouted, burying her face in her hands again. "Oh my god, I can't believe I kissed you after I threw up on your shoes and I didn't even remember it the next day!"

"Hey, come on! I really enjoyed it!"

"Is that why you were mad at me?"

"Yeah, but I was being stupid. It wasn't your fault - I was trying really hard to get over you and I thought you were just playing a stupid game by kissing me. I kind of fucked things up bad, huh?"

Luna rolled her eyes and lightly flicked her forehead.

"You're a fake best friend. You should know that drunk Luna does whatever sober Luna imagines in her head."

Amber smirked. "Oh? So, you imagine kissing me a lot, do you?" Luna elbowed her arm and laughed.

"Yah, koala, shut up."

Amber smiled at the nickname. It had been a while since she heard anyone call her by the name that never failed to make her stomach turn in never-ending cartwheels. It meant that Luna had forgiven her - or was at least approaching the idea.

" _Gangaji_." Amber took the shorter girl's hand and looked straight into her eyes.

"What?"

They were silent for a moment as the atmosphere in the room grew thicker. Luna seemed as if she was waiting for Amber to say something remarkably profound and she wasn't going to disappoint.

"You're really…" Luna's smile grew in anticipation. "You're really going to be that short forever, huh?"

Her smile almost immediately morphed into a frown.

"I don't even know why I expected anything more from you." She sighed.

"Aw, don't worry _gangaji_ , all good things come in small sizes."

"I'm not short!" Luna grumbled, crossing her arms. Amber could only chuckle as she pulled the girl into a hug, holding her in a way that only a best friend could. She felt warm and nice on the inside, like she had accomplished the largest feat in her life.

"You think Jooyoung will mind if I steal you for a while?"

"Depends, how long are we talking?"

Without a hint of hesitation, Amber asked, "Does forever sound good?"

All that was heard afterwards was a laugh - a loud, mocking laugh, coming from the girl buried in her arms. Amber regretted ever saying anything in the first place. "My god, was two weeks without me that bad? That was horrible! How you ever got me to fall for your stupid ass, I'll never figure out."

"Wait," Amber pulled away from Luna and smiled, eyes big and hopeful. "Say that again."

"Say what?"

She batted her eyelashes and clasped her hands together. "That you're in love with meee."

"Oh my god, shut up!" Luna pushed Amber's head away, causing the latter to laugh. "Let's go, everyone probably thinks we're either killing each other or fucking in one of the stalls."

"The second one sounds like a better idea."

Luna rolled her eyes and walked towards the door, pulling the handle before turning back and giving Amber the answer she was definitely not expecting. "Maybe after tonight's over."

 _Fuck_.

+++

Luna soothed the dark blue gown on her body, taking a deep breath before walking up the stairs to the raised platform, hands shaking and heart beating as fast as it could. She shook hands with several school administrators before finally receiving her diploma and bowing, finding herself in the midst of a loud collection of cheers and clapping hands - the loudest of which came from two girls placed at the students' section, the only two who stood on their chairs and whistled as she walked down.

"They're crazy." Luna said to herself, shaking her head and laughing.

Not long after she sat in her seat, the final member of their group finally came. This time, Victoria was met with three enthusiastic girls standing on their chairs. She didn't shake her head shyly the way Luna did, but instead bowed a second time, embracing the love she was receiving. They expected nothing less from their self-appointed leader.

And that was it - that was how high school ended. Every single success and hardship they endured together was wrapped up in one single moment. A long chapter in their life had closed and its ending was encapsulated into one sentence. Luna would like to believe it was a good sentence.

"Can you believe it? We're finally done!" Krystal exclaimed after the ceremony.

"It still hasn't hit me at all," Luna said. "I don't know if it ever will."

"Heeeeey roomie." A voice behind her greeted in English. It was Amber finally joining their group after she had finished taking pictures with her family.

"Ugh, please don't remind me." Krystal replied, burying her face in her hands.

"Freshman year is going to be a blast, just you wait."

"Yah, koala, was that you wolf-whistling when I got my diploma?"

"Who else would it be? Song Joong-Ki?"

"Bitch I wish." Luna mumbled loudly enough for her to hear. Amber dramatically gasped and flicked her forehead lightly, causing her to groan in pain.

"Aw, what a little baby." Amber cooed and pinched her cheeks.

"Stop it!"

"No."

"I'm not a baby!"

"You most certainly are!" She pinched Luna's cheeks even harder, causing the shorter girl to scream in irritation.

"Cut it out, you're making a scene." A commanding voice called from behind them. The three girls immediately turned around and saw Victoria calmly walking towards their direction, valedictorian medal shining under the sun.

"Eomma! Tell Amber to stop pinching my face!"

"She's your girlfriend, you can tell her yourself."

Luna sighed in desperation. "That's pointless, she never listens to me."

"If this is going to escalate into another two-week fight I'm not seeing you two for the rest of the summer." Krystal crossed her arms, dead serious.

"Wait, you can't - where am I going to stay until school starts up?" Amber shouted. Krystal only shrugged, indifferent, and Amber reluctantly pulled her hand away from Luna's cheeks.

 

"You're welcome, Sunyoung."

"Where are the guys?" Victoria asked.

"Those buffoons forgot to get us flowers so Taemin's driving everyone to the nearest florist to buy 'the biggest bouquet known to man'."

"You sure know how to pick 'em don't you, Krys?" Amber teased, earning herself a deadly glare from tall girl. "Well, what are we going to do until they get back? They're kind of our ride."

"They haven't locked the dorms yet, have they?" Luna asked after a brief period of silence, finding herself facing three agreeing smiles.

 

The four girls quickly walked towards their dorm building, laughing as they passed by the gates they snuck through every so often. Luna felt a sense of nostalgia rush through her - graduation hadn't even ended that long ago, and yet she already felt like her whole world was turning around. As they ended up running to the dorms, it was like they were moving closer together. It was a strange feeling, considering that the four of them were going to be spread between three countries once summer ended. It would be logical for them to slowly drift apart, but somehow Luna wasn't convinced that they would end up that way. Seeing her three best friends radiate nothing but pure happiness made her feel warm and thankful - she wanted to lie on the grass and thank whoever was watching her from above for sending the most wonderful people to her life. She wanted to thank them for Victoria, for Krystal, and for having Amber walk into her Korean literature class with her jumbled grammar and scratchy pronunciation. It sounded conceited but there wasn't a doubt in her mind that they all felt the same way about her too.

When they reached their old shared unit, the air around them felt thick. Unit F was where it all started, and although they were separated in their final year, it was always going to be theirs. It was always going to be where they formed their little family, where Luna found herself, where she fell in love and where she grew up. Leaving it all behind seemed like a heavy but necessary step.

As she was standing by their unit entrance, she saw Amber standing silently in front of a particular room - Luna's room. By that time, their rooms had been cleared of any of their belongings and she was sure the administration had changed the lock combination, but it didn't hurt to try. Moving past her girlfriend, she slowly punched in four numbers, with the hope that the door would unlock, and they could provide a proper goodbye to the room that effectively brought them closer together. The final few days of school had been extremely hectic - there was no time for them to be sentimental about a simple room. It was growing to become one of Luna's greatest regrets, but as she turned the door handle and felt it move, she realized she was being given the chance to do what she should have already done.

Luna and Amber slowly stepped into the room and stood still. Without any of her belongings, what was once her safe haven felt like an empty space. From the corner of her eye, Luna could see her old bed, stripped of its sheets and pillows, and she smiled. She walked towards the naked mattress and sat down, crossing her legs.

"Are you just going to stand there?" Luna patted on the space next to her. Her girlfriend only chuckled and brought herself to sit down beside her.

"Can't believe it's really over."

"I'm mostly glad it is. I'm just bummed you won't be a knock away anymore."

Luna felt Amber's pinky slowly interlock with hers. "I'm still going to be here for the whole summer, and you're going to have the time of your life living with future Oscar winner, Choi Sulli. Our lives are going in the right direction."

"It feels like it is. And I know I'm not going to see you for a while after summer's over, but I hope you know that I'll always be thinking of you, of this bed, and how things just always seemed to work out when we were staying up 'til dawn on this lumpy mattress talking about how our lives were going to go."

Amber placed her hand on her heart dramatically and pretended to wipe a tear from her eye. "That was quite poetic, _gangaji_."

Without any form of warning or hesitation, Luna took her girlfriend's face in her hands and pulled her in for a soft kiss. It was short and sweet, but it was all of the simple pleasures she had always craved merged into one. All she could think of were the countless moments where she would lie in bed and fantasize about kissing her best friend in her mind. When they finally pulled away, Luna opened her eyes and saw the face of the girl that brought so much happiness and confusion into her life. It was the face of the girl that never slept in her own room, that always struggled with the multiple languages in her head, that never knew how to be anyone but herself. It was the face of the girl she wanted to wake up to for the rest of her life.

"Koala," Luna called softly. "You know you're the thing I love most, right?"

She nodded. "And you know I love you as much as I love JackJack, right?"

"That's a lot of love."

"It's the most I can offer any living being."

Luna rolled her eyes. "I'll take it."

The two girls smiled and moved closer for another kiss when a loud knock interrupted their moment.

"Yah, come out! We want to get mushy too!" Victoria shouted. Amber stood from the bed and opened the door, finding herself facing two girls with their faces dark and arms crossed.

"You guys have the entire summer to abandon us and be all lovey-dovey - but not now." Krystal said, shooting daggers at both of them.

"This is probably the last time any of us will ever stand here, so shouldn't we say goodbye as a family?"

"You're right - come in and cry with us." Luna motioned for Victoria and Krystal to enter and they both did without a second thought, pushing past Amber.

"Your room was basically our clubhouse," Krystal observed. She stared at the empty walls and naked mattress - Luna was almost certain she could see her eyes becoming glassy. "I lost count of all the times I barged in here to steal your lipsticks."

"Give me back my Dior lipstick!" Krystal only giggled in response, which was just about the closest thing Luna could get to having her return it.

"Guys," Victoria called, putting her arms around her friends. "We're all going to be spread around different countries and we're all going to experience completely different things, but nothing will ever beat us sneaking out together, or laughing together, or getting into fights with each other - when I think of my teen years, I think I'll remember this. I'll remember the names Amber, Luna, Sulli and Krystal, and I'll remember how you helped me become who I am today. I love you, kiddos."

"Vicky!" Amber shouted, pulling her into a big hug. "We love you too, Mom."

"As expected from our leader." Krystal smirked.

"I also have something important to say," Amber suddenly exclaimed. "You guys really took me in. I came here scared out of my mind, not knowing if my life was changing for better or worse, and you guys really treated me like one of your own. I don't know if I would've survived living here if it weren't for you three. I love each and every one of you so much, it's like, you guys are the veins running under my skin. If just one of you guys are gone, will I even survive--"

"--I don't know if that's how veins work--" Krystal interrupted.

"Shut up. Point is, you're my golden girls."

Luna felt her eyes begin to well up with tears and reached out to hold her hand.

"That's such a cute thing to say." She commented.

"Since we're doing this mushy shit right now, all I'm going to say is that I'm really going to miss regularly insulting all of you, and that I'm really not looking forward to having both Vic and Amber stay at my place the entire summer--"

"You're the one who offered!" Victoria interrupted.

"This is just an act, I'm sure she's crying inside right now." Luna explained, smirking at her friend.

"Believe what you want, but that's all you're going to get from me." Krystal maintained and crossed her arms. The other three girls simply smirked, that was the way

Krystal was and they knew that. Luna was sure by the time summer ended and they would all have to part for real, Krystal would be the one crying the hardest.  
After Krystal, it seemed like it was Luna's turn to say something important. They hadn't planned for the moment to become sentimental, but it took a turn on its own. Luna had been holding back her tears the entire time, and she knew that if she even tried to get a word out about how much they meant to her, she would be reduced to a pool of tears. She decided to keep it short and simple.

"I guess the only thing I can say is--"

The sound of a pop song blaring from Krystal's phone interrupted her speech. Krystal quickly pulled it out of her pocket and glanced at the caller - it was Taemin. She merely chuckled and answered the call, shooting Luna an apologetic look.

"You guys are back? Okay, yeah, we'll be right there," Krystal hung up the phone and shrugged. "Sorry Luna, I guess you'll have to wait 'til after we meet up with the guys and take pictures."

"That's probably better - she was probably going to cry her eyes out if she got the chance to speak." Amber joked, earning herself a hit on the arm from Luna.

"Last one to get back pays for dinner?" Victoria proposed, a mischievous smirk forming across her lips.

"That's my cue to run - bye bitches, I'm broke!" Amber shouted and sprinted out of the room at record speed, leaving Luna behind.

The remaining three followed not far behind her, running out of their dorm building and out into the green hill that faced their dorms. Amber, Krystal and Victoria sprinted up the hill, but Luna slowed down and found herself stopping at the bottom. She watched as her three closest friends scrambled and ran towards what seemed to be an endless sky, and she felt herself feeling something warm form inside her chest. Luna suddenly remembered Victoria's words - how they represented her teenage years and she smiled. She had found the words she wanted to say.

"You three are my youth!" Luna shouted at the top of her lungs, laughing as she saw how Amber almost tripped at her sudden exclamation.

"Gangaji, you're buying us dinner tonight!"

It felt right. The three girls that ran in front of her were going to be the only ones she would remember about being young - about her years of being stupid, overly-confident and overly emotional. She would remember how Victoria never failed to take care of her, how Krystal always kept her in the ground, and how Amber always managed to give her all the love she never knew she could find in another person. And Luna was right - it did take quite a while for the two of them to meet again once summer passed, but when they did, it only took a single "Gangaji" for Luna to find herself back in her old dorm room with her thoughts focused on only one thing: her golden girls.

**Author's Note:**

> sdfksldsdfkdslf i love lunber with my entire soul sorry for this mess


End file.
